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by Mark
Sun Feb 28, 2021 5:47 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Room to Let
Replies: 5
Views: 289

Re: Room to Let

I enjoyed the read, it's a good piece of writing. I like the sepia tone. I don't think its the cigarette smoke itself that's necessarily rogue but the waft of it. The foregoing comments are mostly valid and I'm not seeing a problem with poetic writing in a poem but my question is when was it the nar...
by Mark
Fri Feb 19, 2021 6:34 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Moon Landing (a repost in honor of today's Mars Landing)
Replies: 6
Views: 299

Re: Moon Landing (a repost in honor of today's Mars Landing)

Nicely done and with a sinister underlay.
by Mark
Thu Feb 18, 2021 9:24 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Something old. My bakery poem.
Replies: 7
Views: 324

Re: Something old. My bakery poem.

Ay, there's something in the air in bakeries that makes people who work there fat just from breathing, I swear. Brought back some memories, this one,with the biker connection. I remember riding 35km at 3.30am every morning in single digit Celsius to this bakery where I had a temporary job as a drive...
by Mark
Wed Feb 17, 2021 6:49 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Residue
Replies: 6
Views: 393

Re: Residue

Adroit writing that offers an alternative perspective on the mundane. (I get through dishwashing by propping my phone on a shelf and listening to radio prank call recordings.)
I'm wondering about the plural/singular confusion in S3 with 'pan, dish and pot' ending as 'it'.
I enjoyed the read. Welcome. 
by Mark
Wed Feb 17, 2021 6:40 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Greens on Rice
Replies: 4
Views: 261

Re: Greens on Rice

I'm not convinced about the form but it is a good narrative that flows well. Welcome.
by Mark
Wed Feb 17, 2021 6:36 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Lily
Replies: 4
Views: 219

Re: Lily

Thoughtful writing with some great phrasing and imagery that create a palpable mood and tone. 
by Mark
Wed Feb 17, 2021 6:31 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Votive
Replies: 9
Views: 437

Re: Votive

Evocative writing with plain language. This is good poetry. Welcome.  
by Mark
Mon Feb 08, 2021 8:30 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: My Turnip Patch
Replies: 11
Views: 533

Re: My Turnip Patch

I can't say I like turnips but I like the poem. It seems to have been artfully constructed and for some odd reason makes me think of a 1950s spaceship crash-landed in a turnip field. This raises questions if not eyebrows. What are the farmer's neighbors going to think? Will the turnips go up or down...
by Mark
Fri Jan 15, 2021 8:26 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: The Gospel according to COVID
Replies: 30
Views: 1922

Re: The Gospel according to COVID

They've been moved elsewhere for further discussion in private.
by Mark
Fri Oct 30, 2020 9:32 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Shine on
Replies: 10
Views: 1210

Re: Shine on

Thanks Ty. Bit of a follow-up here - the Friday of the week that Japie died, with the funeral set for the following day, I showed the poem here to K while we were talking about Japie. She asked me to rework it into something more suitable for the occasion as a public offering. I declined that notion...