The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

I love number 1, it sounds soft and exoctic. The sounds in line 1 and 3 very light and flowing (v/s/z/fl/gl), and line 2 much heavier with the 3 [k] sounds, it all makes a nice contrast to the ear and our inside eye. You should keep this one to include in a larger piece maybe. Whatever you do keep i...

Great poems there, thank you Tom

Thank you all for your feedback. And yes,  I agree with you Mark about writing in a second language, it does affect the result...
Sorry for not being very present I'm kept busy busy busy by boring stuff.

the puff-burst sky wild with coral and coal

I love that line so much !

indar wrote: ↑

Sat Jan 20, 2018 12:28 pm

This is the way I would write poetry if I could.

I don't understand it--I know lots of words.

Same here : breathtaking poem.

Welcome Heidi ! If I'm here as a "poet", then you can be for sure - no shame   It's such a nice place : the place to be really.

Amie I think it deserves a poem (or a at least a nursery rhyme :
Round and round and round
Riding  a  red little bike
One two three four five
Amie on the parking lot
etc...)

Tom, yes these videos are great, and the second one I found deeply moving.

Thank you for the feedback. I'll think about an empty eye, not sure it would fit the rhythm though (too short)..

Then there is this one, also amazing, though not the same register...

https://ru-clip.com/video/tP214lJtKlM/t ... umans.html