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by Dave
Sun Jun 23, 2019 9:28 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic:  Town of Stawford 
Replies: 4
Views: 101

Re:  Town of Stawford 

An awesome Poem Tracy. Not a word wasted, sparse and atmospheric. Lovely Depth without effort and a fine unfolding of time and its effects. It leaves the emotional Response to the Reader. An exceptionally Beautiful composition.
Dave
by Dave
Sun Jun 16, 2019 1:19 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Adrenaline
Replies: 8
Views: 171

Re: Adrenaline

This is simple, almost classical in style and lovely. Apart from removing the s from books I can 't think of anything to change. Funny how things disappear only to reappear much later from the depths.
Dave
 
by Dave
Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:31 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Star
Replies: 4
Views: 138

Re: Star

A pleasant and typically well-told story. The main weakness if it is that is the fact that the ending is telegraphed way too early and so the enjoyment comes more from how well it is told than the actual 'punchline'.
Dave
 
by Dave
Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:30 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Crossroads
Replies: 4
Views: 136

Re: Crossroads

Gentle and moving storytelling. It makes its point generously without resorting to a false cleverness.
Dave
by Dave
Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:29 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Notre Dame 2019
Replies: 7
Views: 197

Re: Notre Dame 2019

Thank Gyppo for a more generous comment than either I or the poem deserve. In fact the comment is a poem in itself. Thanks Indar for coming back. The poem has been substantially rewritten as you comments and those of Tim where very valuable.
Dave
 
by Dave
Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:47 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Notre Dame 2019
Replies: 7
Views: 197

Re: Each burnt and broken

Thanks for the comments. Very useful. I have no sympathies or anything with the religious right in the USA but am intrigued the poem triggers your heart to go out to them. Format is simply a conflict between me and the Website and I was too lazy to adjust. I have changed the title, may or may not be...
by Dave
Sun Jun 09, 2019 7:53 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Notre Dame 2019
Replies: 7
Views: 197

Notre Dame 2019

Each burnt and broken stone
aspires to more than death 

whether placed in mouths
or collapsed by fate.

Minds set on blessings 
soon command voices

to rise beyond doubt
and hands to build.
by Dave
Tue Jun 04, 2019 8:21 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Synodical
Replies: 5
Views: 193

Re: Synodical

Quietly impressive with some Beautiful lines.
Dave
 
by Dave
Tue Jun 04, 2019 8:19 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Restless
Replies: 8
Views: 308

Re: Restless

I dislike all motorised vehicles but really enjoy the Poem and the obvious passion it intimates.
Dave
 
by Dave
Tue Jun 04, 2019 8:06 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Summer, 1949 with edited version
Replies: 18
Views: 431

Re: Summer, 1949

The Poem is vivid  and runs smoothly and finishes with a rueful and sad obseravtion. The only niggle I have is the aside about the Young Poet, which seemed intrusive somehow.
Dave