The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Felt you were playing with evolution in there Colm, as well as family, but in this narrative there is regression.

not to be found hiding - like that, difficult to cling to dignity when exposed and fear kicks in

enjoyed

Phil

 

An arresting title Dave, bone history sort of scary in that it's beneath the skin, not sure what splintered pane is referencing - the eye? The concluding realisation seems to point to both the empathy of feeling hurt and the consequence of hurting someone. Eirher way there's a loss of 'innocence'  o...

The one detail I felt might be superfluous is that the oak was her sitting place.

I assumed the reader would want to know? Pleased you enjoyed Dave.

best

Phil

hi Dave,
            I read a life journey from child to age and the flowers representing life encounters.
Not sure if I have grasped your intentions, but hope that helps some.

best

Phil

 

I can relate to his Colm, at least on a gardening level, though the poem prompts thoughts on people interaction too.

Thank you very much Colm!

After a stroll along Levellers' Lane
past her grandmother's rowan, the witches' pond,
the still-for-sale cottage, she'd linger a while
at their sitting place - a fallen oak.
Gazing across the fallow field she saw
nothing in flight, but felt a shared quiet.
It wasn't words that mattered for magic.

Enjoyed this too Colm, nicely defused, though expletives are needed at times as a release valve (my excuse for blaspheming). The conclusion did indeed put the more objectionable realities out there.

Nice one Dave. Conceit is best preserved by keeping it internal

 

Cheers Dave. One of those dice rolls that need checking out!

best

Phil