The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Like the delivery Linda, it doesn't falsify or overdramatize. The key words are prize/object and when that translates to the reality of summer spent with his son - an exit. An appetite/anger for a custody battle, but not motivated by love. Sad indeed.

best

Phil

Thanks Linda and Colm. The poem is about a wife poisoning her husband or at least thinking about it. The style is parody, with a few nods to the Bard...Lear, R&J, and Hamlet. So yes, some 'ye olde English' crime entertainment

all the best

Phil

revision With this phial a subtle closure to his contempt. My pride is vain, but that beggared, so ragged apothecary I will trust. An ounce of civet is enough to distract him, and hebenon for peace. A redolent demise. His conceit goads me on to act. I'll brag in whispers, be not loud, and laud misc...

hi

I agree with Linda that you have tapped into a situation with which many will connect. The use of repetition in the context is effective. I liked the ending. There was a poignancy in the wished for as opposed to the hard reality.

best

Phil

I like this a lot Colm. It's personal, but not exclusive. Sleep rewires an unsettling sense of rebirth............lovely use of connect with rewires and we still wake surprised. Each night I grave in swaddled sinks, .............................. grave felt a forced verb settle deeper as hands clasp...

Enjoyed the rhythms. On the edit side, maybe cut the last line, and use the title loss to frame a context.

best

Phil

Apologies...I've been reading too much crime fiction...

Thanks Indar, Colm and poet-e. Pleased you enjoyed. I cut down a small white birch tree to use as a display in a gift shop I once owned. It was in an area scheduled to be cut back by the state department anyway. The following spring, there in my shop, its trunk held in a dry container it budded out....

Excellent T. Can feel the bravery and hear the 'slam'. The sound is in the act. There is a defining humanity - and I would say respect - that the necessary, but utilitarian clothing cannot take away.

best

Phil

Insightful comments by Dave and Tracy. It is a poem that resonates and triggers thoughts. On a mundane note I wondered who took the 'treasured' items! I suspect Rita :D I wondered if you could work the title more, the poems rings true without that title, but then I suppose you don't want to restrict...