The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Thanks for reading and the suggestion, Colm. I agree I took too much out there and can smudge a little back in.

Hi Tim. Enjoyed this image and metaphor-filled poem a lot. It seems a couple drafts away from being complete. I'm not sure I can explain my sense of that (that it's not quite "there"). I really enjoy your showing not telling about N's son's resistance to leave and how that contrast with the protecti...

Hi Matty- my favorite part is mum plugging the pumpkins eyes with plums. I just need more to make me care about that. If his is important, how about you tell us more about who that is?

Hi there. I particularly enjoy the final stanza. It seems to resonate more as your voice. The first two stanzas may be too much abstraction? A good exercise might be starting a new poem with: The fish swims past, wondering what's land. But how can I convey, he'll die if he knows? Then see where it g...

Hi Tracy- those are great suggestions- thank you. Also thank you for the kind words. I'm glad it read in the moment. As for not answering Friday afternoon calls, N has a contract.  ;)  

Hi Linda. Thank you for helping me see the needed economy. I can already tell it will be better after trimming the fat.  Hysterical There is no way to be ready when your agency is a magnet for crises.   Here there is no visual soul.  We must be clear.   Let us have empathy.  Today, a woman’s voice r...

If I could get this story out After four years on the job  there is no way to be ready.  And for some reason late Friday afternoons  my agency is a magnet.   Of course no one would bother calling if they needed nothing. Here we foster the audible exchange. There is no visual soul. We must be clear. ...

Hi Linda,

Such eloquence and restraint. I love the intimacy we have with N's mind. Time passing, the images that help us keep track of memories in a chronological sense. The all too human tendency to avoid grief. You tied it all together beautifully. Thank you fgor sharing.

Janet

Thank you Linda, Tim and Sharon!

Hi Colm- I found much to enjoy. Especially love the ocean's instructions and water sucked in breaths. I like too how the jagged rocks are echoed visually by the line breaks. sucked in breaths "away from" rather than "beneath" might make the water more active; and a sentence or phrase in the title le...