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by Mark
Sat Jul 13, 2019 7:21 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Cycle
Replies: 8
Views: 1564

Re: Cycle

Aah yes, turnip-speak.  :mrgreen:   Good quad there, Ty.
by Mark
Sat Jul 13, 2019 7:10 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Grandpa's Row Boat
Replies: 6
Views: 853

Re: Grandpa's Row Boat

Very nicely done. I suggest reconsidering ' hissing' as a bit cliche. Also, revisit 'wood steps' for possible modification.


my line of the poem, excellent
 
a boat wood-ribbed like the inside of a fish,

  
by Mark
Sat Jul 13, 2019 7:01 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Broken Homes
Replies: 13
Views: 1649

Re: Broken Homes

Even better on the re-read. Melancholic and evocative. Quad for you.


Bleached

I listen for nostalgia in his footsteps
down a lane from the railway station,
past a red roof house slammed shut
on the blue collar side of the tracks.
by Mark
Sat Jul 13, 2019 6:51 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: derelict home
Replies: 6
Views: 1413

Re: derelict home

Strong writing, with a complex pace within a well-drawn atmosphere.
by Mark
Fri Jul 12, 2019 11:46 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Tweak from the Napo 19 file
Replies: 6
Views: 1075

Tweak from the Napo 19 file

. Positive ions and negative icons I am a servant of the sun. I meditate in its rays. In the collective memories beyond the windows, I roam in the files of my mind, seeking paradoxes of enlightenment. I sense kindred beings on quests for understanding, a questioning of the questions. Our environmen...
by Mark
Fri Jul 12, 2019 11:20 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Broken Homes
Replies: 13
Views: 1649

Re: Broken Homes

Thanks for that clear and informative article, Matty.
by Mark
Fri Jul 12, 2019 12:43 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: More
Replies: 10
Views: 1855

Re: More

Ha, I probably did spend more time on it than you, with my proofreader's eye. Enjoy your break in Arabia.  
by Mark
Wed Jul 10, 2019 11:43 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: More
Replies: 10
Views: 1855

Re: More

Some alarms are sensed, an internal twitch we should hear but don't, or refuse to. 'an internal twitch' is the main subject of the stanza. It can be sensed as an alarm, something that should be heard,  refused to be heard, or not heard. The sense of a twitch as being auditory isn't a natural connec...
by Mark
Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:37 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Cycle
Replies: 8
Views: 1564

Re: Cycle

Thanks for read and comments, guys. A Napo 2018 retread.
by Mark
Sat Jul 06, 2019 9:04 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: the music of cows
Replies: 11
Views: 2037

Re: the music of cows

Well, the ending couplet of the piece is unique in poetry annals in that it conveys imagery of a cow swatting flies off its arse with its tail. Remarkable writing. And indeed, this is an honest image of cattle. Conversely, the rest seemed romanticised to me but then I know cows.