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It's carefully written and makes for a good piece overall. The ending is a feel-good one. I don't think the line lengths employed suit the tone of the writing. The imagery and setting seem more languid. Not saying this is better, just experimenting from a different angle. This boy can move, like a y...
- Sun Sep 30, 2018 9:38 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: At which precise moment did you know.. revision
- Replies: 15
- Views: 1570
Re-reading this for the first time in a while - the original's better imo.
This is just an extrapolation from a conversation with an enlightened doctor about the global cancer epidemic - almost 1 in 2 in the US, I believe. The doc's point was that we aren't living naturally.