The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Hey Jackie I must confess, not knowing the game I am having my problems visualizing this. I can't make out the relative periods of time as the poem slips in and out of past and present in a way I am finding to hard follow. Some lines bleed the images into each other so that I search for some punctua...

I am still at a loss to imagine how the human race could have ended up differently to what it is. Poor Adam's snkae simply got hard, didn't it?

Thanks for the comments and kindnesses - Colm you exaggerate in the best possible way. Alienflower I am not married to the title so would be no loss. I could take the first line or other. Not so good at titles.
Dave
 

Thanks fot the comment and suggestion. Will seriously consider.
Dave
 

a hole in the ocean swallowed my father. I hung a hand over the side of a boat, silent witness. the sky could not invent colour so there was no pain, no sorrow. when I stepped into the water there were no horizons, only distance, now all living beings begin to disappear  into the lines trickling acr...

Tracy
I am afraid that absolutely no one can fathom the mysteries of the Tory party in Britain and its bizzare and dangerous belief in trickle-down economics at a time when the rich have multiplied their riches beyond all imagining and politicians make war on the poor rather than poverty.

Thanks Tracy
For the moment I have tried to shift the emphasis of the poem in another direction to see what happens
 

Thanlks for the comments Colm and for your return toa ction here on the site. The event sin britain at the moment are truly bizarre and hard to explain. Painful actually. The 'it# in 'it the trickling' is a repeat for effect of the 'it ' in the previous line but can and probabyl should be left out. ...

Hey Kate Thanks for the comments. First of all, I am happy that anyone at all is here on the sight. Secondly, I am delighted to see you back here again it has been a long while. Thirdly, I ma so happy you like the poem and totally in agreement about the weak line you picked out. That needs fixing. I...

Attempted alternative Amazed I cease to barrel headlong.  Stop, watch  an ant haul a beetle through sand as they are wont to do. Later I kick bed clothes away let my skin cool into the night until I draw you closer, feel your thoughts seep into my breathing. Original Amaze my mind has ceased to barr...