Don't get 2nd stanza or how it's connected to the 1st.
N's hand swims like a fish?
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- Tue Feb 18, 2020 1:10 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Different Worlds
- Replies: 4
- Views: 6251
- Tue Feb 18, 2020 1:05 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Home with a Cold (response is prize winning)
- Replies: 11
- Views: 14281
Re: Home with a Cold (either interpretation acceptable)
My interpretation is N asking God what the purpose of letting us get sick, wasting tissue.
What's the other interpretation?
What's the other interpretation?
- Tue Feb 18, 2020 1:01 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Rescued from Oblivion
- Replies: 13
- Views: 18799
Re: Rescued from Oblivion
Cute!
Should "and ignore all the who jerks who complain."
be: and ignore all the jerks who complain.
The Beats made pocket poetry books to carry/hide easily.
How would a poem prop open a door?
Should "and ignore all the who jerks who complain."
be: and ignore all the jerks who complain.
The Beats made pocket poetry books to carry/hide easily.
How would a poem prop open a door?
- Mon Feb 17, 2020 1:00 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: When we first met (Toby) // When Toby and I First Met
- Replies: 2
- Views: 10472
When we first met (Toby) // When Toby and I First Met
My parents got you because I kept crying myself to sleep after Angel’s deep sleep. They drove you from Kansas to my California apartment, having only seen you on a blurry video camera attachment—a squirmy skinny long white blob on mom or dad’s neck. Mom put you on my lap and you kiss me for the fir...
- Mon Feb 17, 2020 12:43 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Toby on Love
- Replies: 3
- Views: 5263
Toby on Love
I ask him, “Do you understand what I mean when I say ‘I love you’?” He sits on my chest, sometimes lying down, or sits above my head (a paw hugging either side of my forehead) kissing me nonstop for several minutes. He runs to my at the slightest sense of sadness or melancholy, kissing me relentless...
- Mon Feb 17, 2020 12:36 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Enough
- Replies: 25
- Views: 25644
Re: Enough
Unclear what's in the shot glass, but never had @indar's experiences.
This seems awkward:
"She put on red blazer over white blouse,
black slacks, two inch heals."
Maybe:
She put on [a/her] red blazer over white blouse,
black slacks, [and] two inch heals.
This seems awkward:
"She put on red blazer over white blouse,
black slacks, two inch heals."
Maybe:
She put on [a/her] red blazer over white blouse,
black slacks, [and] two inch heals.
- Mon Feb 17, 2020 12:21 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Sou’easter
- Replies: 2
- Views: 5046
Re: Sou’easter
Clever. Maybe more imagery? Colors, how leaves look inside?
My dad wants to saw down my neighbor's tree...
My dad wants to saw down my neighbor's tree...
- Sun Feb 16, 2020 5:23 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: I Ask Toby
- Replies: 5
- Views: 5270
Re: I Ask Toby
LOL.
- Fri Feb 07, 2020 1:06 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Boo
- Replies: 4
- Views: 4052
Re: Boo
Nice alliteration and use of lang!
- Fri Feb 07, 2020 1:04 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Cling
- Replies: 8
- Views: 7724
Re: Cling
Think humidity is a metaphor for ???