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by poet-e
Tue Feb 18, 2020 1:10 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Different Worlds
Replies: 4
Views: 6251

Re: Different Worlds

Don't get 2nd stanza or how it's connected to the 1st.

N's hand swims like a fish?
by poet-e
Tue Feb 18, 2020 1:05 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Home with a Cold (response is prize winning)
Replies: 11
Views: 14281

Re: Home with a Cold (either interpretation acceptable)

My interpretation is N asking God what the purpose of letting us get sick, wasting tissue.

What's the other interpretation?
by poet-e
Tue Feb 18, 2020 1:01 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Rescued from Oblivion
Replies: 13
Views: 18799

Re: Rescued from Oblivion

Cute!

Should "and ignore all the who jerks who complain."
be: and ignore all the jerks who complain.

The Beats made pocket poetry books to carry/hide easily.

How would a poem prop open a door?
by poet-e
Mon Feb 17, 2020 1:00 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: When we first met (Toby) // When Toby and I First Met
Replies: 2
Views: 10472

When we first met (Toby) // When Toby and I First Met

My parents got you because I kept crying myself to sleep after Angel’s deep sleep.  They drove you from Kansas to my California apartment, having only seen you on a blurry video camera attachment—a squirmy skinny long white blob on mom or dad’s neck. Mom put you on my lap and you kiss me for the fir...
by poet-e
Mon Feb 17, 2020 12:43 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Toby on Love
Replies: 3
Views: 5263

Toby on Love

I ask him, “Do you understand what I mean when I say ‘I love you’?” He sits on my chest, sometimes lying down, or sits above my head (a paw hugging either side of my forehead) kissing me nonstop for several minutes. He runs to my at the slightest sense of sadness or melancholy, kissing me relentless...
by poet-e
Mon Feb 17, 2020 12:36 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Enough
Replies: 25
Views: 25644

Re: Enough

Unclear what's in the shot glass, but never had @indar's experiences.

This seems awkward:
"She put on red blazer over white blouse,
black slacks, two inch heals."
Maybe:
She put on [a/her] red blazer over white blouse,
black slacks, [and] two inch heals. 
by poet-e
Mon Feb 17, 2020 12:21 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Sou’easter
Replies: 2
Views: 5046

Re: Sou’easter

Clever.  Maybe more imagery?  Colors, how leaves look inside?

My dad wants to saw down my neighbor's tree...
by poet-e
Sun Feb 16, 2020 5:23 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: I Ask Toby
Replies: 5
Views: 5270

Re: I Ask Toby

LOL.
by poet-e
Fri Feb 07, 2020 1:06 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Boo
Replies: 4
Views: 4052

Re: Boo

Nice alliteration and use of lang!
by poet-e
Fri Feb 07, 2020 1:04 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Cling
Replies: 8
Views: 7724

Re: Cling

Think humidity is a metaphor for ???