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- Mon Jun 13, 2022 6:54 am
- Forum: The Commons
- Topic: How many of you recognise yourself in this description?
- Replies: 4
- Views: 9260
Re: How many of you recognise yourself in this description?
Hi Gyppo, Not sure which two you mean by binary, but oh, yes, this works for me: Stepping back into a single skin when convention requires it is like wearing clothes a couple of sizes too small. Don't we spend our speaking and writing lives code-switching depending on the person or the situation we...
- Sat Jun 04, 2022 11:44 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Međugorje, scam of the Century
- Replies: 10
- Views: 3110
Re: Međugorje, scam of the Century
Powerful poem, Colm, and powerful song, Gyppo.
Jackie
Jackie
- Sat Jun 04, 2022 6:15 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Unrestrained
- Replies: 7
- Views: 2828
Re: Unrestrained
Eric, This describes so perfectly the transformation that happens in moments of passion. To me, lines 3-5 could stand a touch-up. They summarize, while the rest of the poem uses such concrete imagery, and passions speaking loud but wordless(ly) seems a bit ordinary. May I also suggest a re-w...
- Sat Jun 04, 2022 5:56 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: black and white
- Replies: 6
- Views: 1649
Re: black and white
Hi Dave, I do like being in your landscape but I still stumble at the idea of women dancing in a market. I'm not keen on re-writing people's poems, but maybe you'd consider a tad fewer words at the end: ... like women dancing around a gossip of houses whose roofs remember red dimpled cheeks. Jackie
- Sat Jun 04, 2022 5:24 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Silverback
- Replies: 8
- Views: 2405
Re: Silverback
Thank you, Colm and Eric. I'm glad the message comes across.
Jackie
Jackie
- Wed Jun 01, 2022 12:21 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Silverback
- Replies: 8
- Views: 2405
Re: Silverback
Mark — Thank you for kind words. Linda — I am glad to know the parts that work for you. Once gray, one is defined more by one's age, less by gender for one thing. Yes, but more than that one is often over-protected from imagined harm. The elderly of any gender bear a lifetime of scars earned from a...
- Fri May 27, 2022 3:30 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Airport Art
- Replies: 8
- Views: 1658
Re: Airport Art
Linda, I do like the allusion to the voice of God in your poem. To me, this art is that disturbing because these blazing palms are sources and spreaders of wildfires in California. It seems like pretty unsettling art to have in an airport. You always have your eyes on the big picture, however concis...
- Fri May 27, 2022 2:29 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: A Rare Sight
- Replies: 4
- Views: 1238
Re: A Rare Sight
People-watching. People whose dressing and adorning styles identify the philosophies they once, and still, find relevant. Personally, I prefer people who dress their message, to those who approach with speeches and pamphlets. I like the turn in the middle, Gyppo, where you re-see these two people. J...
- Thu May 26, 2022 6:50 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Silverback
- Replies: 8
- Views: 2405
Silverback
Silverback Hold me less precious in your hands and see as awards this dappling, this graying I have become. I am the pilot left white-locked, a paid toll from overflying spewed volcanos; I am the sprinter of my dream who wins again despite her gaping chest hole. I am Silverback who still grasp...
- Thu May 19, 2022 9:10 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: "Do I know You?"
- Replies: 8
- Views: 2134
Re: "Do I know You?"
Gyppo, this is such a delightful vignette! And all three characters are needed.
If she has to be called Jackie, at least I'm glad she gave you coffee and biscuits.
Jackie
If she has to be called Jackie, at least I'm glad she gave you coffee and biscuits.
Jackie