The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Visually strong and beautiful use of sound and tone.
Dave
 

Hey Trish I enjoyed this though I think it is a tad dramatic and the theme is not new. The poem takes a fresh look at it. Line one and the first half of line 3 in stanza 2 replicate each other, the first being better than the second but neither truly working well with bread crumbs in the rain since ...

Hey Tim,
My bad - I meant this use of own - , your own nostrils - 
 

Hey Tim 
By the way, strictly speaking this syntax is misleading since it implies that the door is haunted - He, skeletal, robed, moves to a door almost
haunted,...
Dave

Thanks everyone - Colm, Deb and Sharon.

Unlike the others I struggle to visualize some of this. The voices falling against the window - for me fall implies from above. Yet I fail to see how that would work. Moreover I can't relate the fall of the words to the violence of the words. Could be me of course. Fall is not powerful enough a word...

Would just like to add my admiration and enjoyment of the poem. A fine romance. The only word that seems superfluous to me is 'own' since it simply repeats the sense of your without adding anything. The rest is great.
Dave

Hey Tracy
Nothing wildly intelligent to add except to say that this is a very fine poem indeed.
Dave

Thanks Ajduclos and poet-e: ideas to ponder, thanks. Poet-e yes.

Dave 

Hey Colm  You are currently on a rich vein of writing and I like very much the clear simplicity of the images and ideas. The only quibble would be with the first stanza, which tends to hold up the poem and has the only line that does not work, namely the first leading into the second, which I don't ...