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- Tue Jan 17, 2023 1:44 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Rootbound
- Replies: 8
- Views: 1693
Re: Rootbound
Ha yes, the density and texture of the writing well reflects the vegetative exuberance described. A feel-good read.
- Thu Jan 12, 2023 12:48 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: House Call
- Replies: 6
- Views: 1691
Re: House Call
Thanks, Gyppo. Insomnia as a plus...
- Tue Jan 10, 2023 8:51 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: House Call
- Replies: 6
- Views: 1691
Re: House Call
Thanks for looking, guys.
- Sun Jan 08, 2023 3:02 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: House Call
- Replies: 6
- Views: 1691
House Call
. I’m a newbie smoking doobie and I wanna post a poem on the coast Um, no, it’s about the coast Okay. Wait… okay. All right! Gimme a match! So the beach… (koff) ... I mean the coast… has beaches, mostly. And these beaches have like girls on them, in bikinis. Right? And I used to have one - I mean, ...
- Mon Oct 31, 2022 4:03 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: a girl's voice bleeds
- Replies: 1
- Views: 739
Re: a girl's voice bleeds
A dynamic narrative with actual action going on, nice work. Feels like it could go through 2 or 3 more drafts before settling. Of course, all I want to do is get the rest of the line-ends stepped neatly.
- Mon Oct 31, 2022 3:55 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: death seen through a telescope
- Replies: 8
- Views: 2732
Re: death seen through a telescope
It is a good piece. I like the tone and texture of the writing except for S3. That seems to belong somewhere else. I would cut it altogether. Also something about the ending seems a bit jumbled. a hole in the ocean swallowed my father. I hung a hand over the side of a boat, silent witness. the sky ...
- Mon Oct 31, 2022 3:34 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: 4x4
- Replies: 2
- Views: 813
Re: 4x4
Hi Dave Thanks for commenting. Wasn't really expecting any feedback... I haven't commented of late.... but I have quietly shifted a ton of crappy spam in recent weeks. You are right, of course, the (shrinking) 4-line format doesn't offer much depth to address complex issues and it shows...but that i...
- Fri Oct 28, 2022 2:22 am
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: 4x4
- Replies: 2
- Views: 813
4x4
. At best Goodness will not prevail. and goodwill not return. This may be a dogleg on the path to evil. Flags We need a baby nuke or two for the next big-big steps and if Mad Vlad won’t, DIY will have to do. Points There will be no pitchfork revolutions with facial scans and carbon merits social c...
- Sun Jun 19, 2022 1:23 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: black and white
- Replies: 6
- Views: 1673
Re: black and white
I also liked your inspired collective noun and also disliked the dancing market girls, so I'm a conformist. I'd be intrigued to know what goes on between the residents of those houses.
- Sun Jun 19, 2022 1:18 pm
- Forum: Post Your Poems
- Topic: Cognitive Decline
- Replies: 5
- Views: 1360
Re: Cognitive Decline
I've lost my rubber chicken so I can't remember what I wanted to say.