The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Apologies for my slow response to comments. Janet, this is another experimental piece written in a loose SOC kind of way so it doesn't have an impeccable story-line but I do feel there's enough cohesion to hold it together. The old man is burned out, sick, his memory is faulty but he is reminiscing ...

Thanks to all for comments on this piece.

. Ineffable   An old man, blank with cancer and newsprint eyes walks along a dockside on a Sunday afternoon. Seagulls wheeling,    a distant foghorn mourns across the water. His knots of random, thoughts of Rome , ghost memories of things forgotten, are as letters lost upon the wind - In tandem wit...

Welcome David - the prose club's around the back. Password is enjambment and pay at the door. 

Vogon poetry! I'm such a fan of THHGTG - have you heard any of the BBC radio series?

You know how synchronicity fascinates me - this performed poetry is also worth hearing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esgfG3BoAPc

 

Strong write. Dense but crafted - I look forward to the re-formatted version. Thanks for posting, Dave.

The revision rocks, Marcus. Great flow of sound and rhythm in this piece.

Good poem, well-balanced elements including a touch of humour or is it pathos? Enjoyed, thanks for posting. 

" Beautiful, full poem. I'd look here and see if "manipulate" and "seed cirrus" isn't a shade of redundancy. When one seeds clouds (for rain) it IS manipulation. Tim Reasonable point - but seeding clouds isn't necessarily the only method of manipulating weather - poetically it could be rain dances ...

Welcome Daryl, looking forward to the news from your muse...