The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

hi Trev

The poem does not exclude the reader. The reader can relate their own experiences to the content. Lines such as like a sideline crowd in heavy coats are lines I hope to find in poetry: creative. Wordsworth wrote a diary poem, it's called the Prelude!

Phil

hi Linda Yes, the songbirds are in full-throated competition and we know spring is here - at last! Songs that take us to exotic places and memories of other times. enjoyed Linda, though I've been tempted to tweak a few line endings... The first mockingbird of the season is winging it in a star pine ...

Unburden. Hear the greening chatter,
under the waterfall, the laughter -
unfrozen, a clarion of ghylls.

Unwrap and sip the greening sap,
unearth the tap, all roots refill.
Hear the playful chatter. Unburden.

Hi Trev           The sporting context has natural parallels with life experiences and so that is how I read your poem. In that framework, the title could reference the sporting memories, but also opens outs to life's ambitions and escapes. some thoughts In Dunally, there is sacred ground, ....sport...

Hi Linda

I don't have any knowledge on self-publishing. I just send poems to ezines and, occasionally, print anthologies and magazines. I haven't had a great deal of success with the latter and ezines often don't last long. I don't have any experience beyond that.

best

Phil

I remember this one Linda. Splendid, great fluidity and verve.

muchly enjoyed

Phil

I could feel the experience of the bird pretty well, Thanks Trev. I was hoping to achieve that outcome. I agree on the last verse, which I have axed, and I feel the poem is positive rather than negative because of this. I'm happy with the form, rather than a more fragmented option, because it threa...

Thanks Dave. Those birds perched at the edge deserved a poem!

cheers

Phil

ps I've been posting new/old/new-old poems

Maybe some day I will cut a hole in my bedroom ceiling so I can lay face up on my new purple duvet and plot my course. Love that fanciful notion Linda.  Do you need new? Not sure why you mention Kilimanjaro? It seemed to me that it was the scientists and their telescope that were the prompt for the...

hi Dave I deleted my original reply because I started waffling on about history in the way such issues that you have highlighted get talked over. Trying to focus on the form. The use of measurement, the numbers and dates, reminded me of how I wrote history essays. Facts and figures are effective in ...