The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

If I was a garden I’d be overrun with weeds for I haven’t had the maintenance a tidy garden needs. If I was a car you might be thinking of a trade-in, considering my bodywork and the year I was made in. If I was a dog I’d be the friendliest of pets yet soon I’d start to cost a bleeding fortune at th...

‘If you want to go to Heckmondwike’ - said this bloke I know called Mike, ‘you’ll have to go on your bike ‘cos there’s a concrete mixer overturned on the A62.’ (Mike talks about places I don’t want to go with stories and details I don’t need to know) So I said “Oh”. Then I said: Heckmondwike may be ...

If you’re thinking of scrimping and saving to replace your front garden with paving ‘cos your parking space then will be double and nature’s just far too much trouble just think about whether it’s worth destroying this small bit of Earth. From wriggling invertebrates to creatures with wings and all ...

I contravene the Highway Code and stroll down the middle of a four lane road. With no other soul nor a car to be seen it feels like a Hollywood opening scene, like something momentous has happened today -an asteroid struck but it seems I’m OK the scientists said that no man could survive yet I am un...

Where once I’d stroll alone unnoticed and unknown, now people quake in fear whenever I draw near. Great danger do I broach - they quail at my approach. Their downfall they forebode as they swiftly cross the road and even turn their head as if that stops the spread. So every time I’m seen I feel like...

Between poems I‘m unthinking, unblinking my sugar levels slowly sinking My vacuous face stares into space My head in some other worldly place. My cranium a vac u um. The intellect of a geranium. Bored slack jawed but not ignored, ‘Is he dead?’ they prod ‘It’s very odd, he’s mad you know, the daft ol...

You may be a sad poet loner but you don’t want to die of Corrona so look out for yellowy glands and constantly scour your hands, ensure you’ve a hanky close by and your alcohol content is high. And if you are writing then please take a bath before touching the keys - a germ on your fat sweaty finger...

It seems that we soon might be taken to task if we’re not conscientiously wearing a mask. With wrongdoers facing a travelling ban or carted away by an ambulance man. Avoiding the panicky public demand I luckily already have one to hand. It’s the type that you don when you hear the approach of the L...

I wondered if I might post more on the site so that people said Hey - that’s enough for today. so people said Wait - take it easy mate. so people said Damn - is that a bloke or spam? In truth I’m not that eager, my output fairly meagre. It might just depend if I’m at a loose end. But with radical so...

I’m just saving paper, saving the planet. Me and Greta whatsername.