The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Dazzling write Mark.

Somewhere on Earth
a drop of vanilla ice-cream
falls between sandy toes.

Love that. Triggers a picture, but resonates in the context if the reader wants to net a loose intuition and scribble a meaning

cheers

matty

Under the window sill
a nest of our ladies.
I count their spots for luck.
Our summer has long gone.

A more stressed longer line to conclude to dwell on loss and coalesce a wider narrative. Either way enjoyed.

best

Matty

I pulled red from my arm, painted limestone stories of ourselves - how we lived and died without fingerprints, without regret. I grew queasy, flies spun about my head-- I liked that transition from primal/ancestral to that human reaction from the loss of blood - the consequences of obsession! I did...

I pulled red from my arm, painted limestone
stories of ourselves - how we lived and died
without fingerprints, without regret.

I grew queasy, flies spun about my head--

I felt the ending because the imagery, from the start, has a savage honesty.

Thanks for reading this too Tracy. Pleased the 'pacing' is heard. I can hear it, but never sure if readers can.

cheers

Phil

deep in a stream bed, polishing, rolling
off the grid, and back down to the sea.

There is a lovely release in that ending Tracy.

best

Phil

Good question, good title, and good poem. Personally, I could have done without the Trump baggage, but I suspect that is just me!

best

Matty

yes, I agree, great fun to read

For those interested in writing poems on Climate Change

https://magmapoetry.com/call-for-submis ... nge-issue/

The title caught my eye and I see how it frames the poem. The repetition of experience through the generations is what I picked up on...spoke/speak. I liked the kindergarten/forgotten sound play.

look forward to more toe dips

best

matty