The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Autumn & Spring
are transitional.
Yet,
beautiful alone.

Summer & Winter
are absolute.
But,
stark with purpose.

Anticipation resounds,
And so does going slowly.
 

1. (I hope)

Days lost, new ones found
Smile every now and again
The sun blossoms too

Your breath derives the tides,
a cold embrace, interwoven with lace.
Now, I hope my strides are interlaced
with you.

What's to be, how I die,
I can do it on my own,
I just hope that it
isn't the case.

Colm, Solid explanation, it definitely helps to hear your reasoning. I'm hard-pressed to find any nits now  :)  Very clever idea with each stanza representing attraction at varying severities, I did not pick up on that on my first read. That Planck theory sounds like where the twin paradox comes fro...

Indar, Not an IQ test haha. The title more refers to magicians not revealing their secrets, in this case not revealing the meaning of the poem exactly. Obviously that's not good poetry but I wanted to see what you guys thought of this sort of experiment. Thanks for the reply (this is the piece you m...

colm,  I like this piece, interesting to see some physics jargon. "Un-gluing the gluons" is my favorite line. My biggest criticism is the use of "unfortunate" when you describe the entry into the black hole. I may be wrong, but I read the entry into the black hole as the metaphor for your parents' r...

A magic man with exotic leathers, Colors: brown, black, and those you didn't know existed. I swore I wouldn't, but I told the magic man to hold my water, for my new magic trick. The Magic Man he fell down, but only after I dropped the glass, the glass I didn't know I was holding. And for a second, w...

indar, You're right, I do delete my posts pretty often. Usually I post impulsively when I'm proud of a piece, but then I end up deleting it because I feel it's going to get criticism. Obviously criticism is beneficial to development, but only if it's constructive. My pieces are a little different th...

Hi Colm, 'We talk less now,' Is a good opener, it sort of resonates. Not to mention, the clever line that follows. I can't offer much constructively, but my biggest qualm is 'comfortable'. As a whole, there's very little punctuation at the end of lines. That's the reason why 'comfortable' strikes th...

Not a bad poem. It does seem like you have a gravitation to a specific style, however. Could behoove you to experiment a little