The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Carling is beer. (Lager) Git  ( slang ) ...  Git  is a term of insult with origins in English denoting an unpleasant, silly, incompetent, annoying, senile, elderly or childish person. As a mild oath it is roughly on a par with prat and marginally less pejorative than berk.  W ashhouse  an outhouse ...

Hi poet-e  :) The catalyst for this was my wife's obsession for honesty and the boredom of attending so many funerals with generic eulogies. From what I hear we are surrounded by saints  :roll: One of my close friends is itching to eulogise me. I know he 'likes' my wife, won't tell me what he'd say,...

Aj, I did say 'if I'm lucky enough to live longer than them' 
Thanks for the like 
 

Death, like interviews after a football match is a marsh of cliche and simile.  I scream silent in protest, yet when forced drivel with the best of them, 'Wasn't it a kindness in the end, but wasn't he as brave as a lion' When I go, tell me as I was, my wife knows. Some meagre comfort on the funeral...

Version #2 has lost the darker elements and (to my ear) reads like a completely different scene.
I assume it's what you intended in #1; I could tell by your response to my first post that I misinterpreted it.
Anywho, it's a lovely and poignant poem, especially S3 (in #2)...superb showing.
  

Not a big rhyming fan Matty...as you probably know. 
And I wonder why 'deceit' isn't kept on L1?  
However, I did enjoy the read; and the time spend researching this interesting man.
 

Thanks guys 

Tracy Mitchell wrote: ↑

Thu Aug 22, 2019 8:05 am

Thanks for not using the word "sometimes".
Cheers.
T 

But I did?
Is it sometimes a faux pas to use sometimes in poetry?
Do I sometimes use it excessively?
Confused!

This was a quickie, posted for a friend I'm attempting to entice here 
 
 

Unique people traverse our paths,
they swim imaginary pools
within our desert worlds.
Do strange things, sometimes
just to show us 
possibilities.
 
But more often than not, and
tired of waiting for us to catch up,
they up their game

and wait
for us to become 
unique.