The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Agree with @indar; confused but enjoyed it.

Love it.

1st stanza has fast Beat-like reading rhythm that'd be good for spoken word.  Wish rest of the poem cont'd this.

Nice lang/imagery!

Love "blue bird blazed"

Confused on the blood blade, but it shifts the poem darker?

So powerful!

At 1st confused how Joel connected with the Richfield High School, social studies class, but he's in the film, right?  Perhaps you can make it clearer... like  17yr old students' reactions?
 

Very nice!

Love: "gleefully 'living on the edge'," and moon laughing.

Perhaps it can be more suspenseful, almost falling?

POV as a flight attendant'd be interesting too.

Very well written.  So true and sad!  Seems to only be worsening...

Love  the "and the glib, glittering gangs / and gangster" alliteration.
 

Is the he in "God created big rocks.
He's cried desolate tears behind it
when young girls broke his heart,"  -->  the farmer or God?

Funny.  Love the flippant ending.

Like the contrasting images "imaginary pools" and "desert worlds." What makes unique people unique?