The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

That's an interesting edit. The leap from s2 to s3 covers a large threshold. But then... I was looking at what you cut...and imo that makes another standalone, which I really like because it's human and engaging. Perhaps this is the core of it. Whichever, the poem offers up a lot of raw material! Ex...

A Zimbabwean painter once said to me: " All music is one voice." Which I'm still thinking about. I liked the poem and I think Dave did as well. The task set was a worthy one. Imagine using music to describe poetry and you see what I mean. I don't understand your tiff but the Dunning-Kruger effect is...

Dave I enjoyed reading the poem. S1 and S2 are great. It could possibly end with S5. After that it seems to meander off in another direction. That is not a bad thing as such, perhaps another poem there. The finale is good reading. The pace is nicely measured for most of the piece but I thought S6 a ...

. solar return here in this world beside yours, your temporary corporeal domain this plane remains your world too and we'll soon see you back again it's lovely here, you'll remember when your time expires, how sublime to see the universal order of atoms in harmony with the synergy and law of light ...

Hi Dave, thanks for looking. Quite right about the first stanza. Typically, it was at first just a standalone quad with 4 separate deadpan lines. It looked this below. But then I thought to expand on the theme and scrambled it into 6 lines, and then went ahead with the rest. Mortality is so inevitab...

Hi Linda and thank you for commenting. Your premise is correct, that's part of what I said in my un-posted reply but you say it so much more succinctly.  
 

Mark -- always a treat to grapple with your unique broad-brush, intensely personal and wildly creative poems.   Why thankee, Ty-man. Whut happened wuz I seen them dang fairy lights up yonder on the back forty agin an’ so I strayed out into them briar weeds an’ all with my good ol’ hound dawg Titus ...

Journey

Mortality is so inevitable and yet thereafter so unknown.
We nod to faith and fill our eyes
with clever ideas of the times.
Life is blindly embroiled in ego
and cold survival of the genes.
But fantastically, it does seem an essence rises to a bliss.


 

. Dirty humanity then marched past all natural freedoms, bade a silent farewell to dignity. Inside the Collective’s razor wire and railway docks, paper apes faded away in tower blocks of taboo, privacy as sinister as roses. A digitised generation expired in lies weaponised as a history of threaded ...

The doggone truth in doggerel always makes me smile.