The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Yeah, and cheese residue and milk parts, etc.  At least for now.  

 

Thanks for the cue.  I was not aware of the lentils in that story.   :)   I am now.  I thought I got the Biblical references in the poem, but it comes clear not all of them.  Now I question what else I missed.  Obviously a lot.  So with my new tidbit of knowledge, I ask if Esau is the Speaker of the...

Hi Dave,

Yeah, scattergun, for sure.  At least it's not some somber tome about bleeding, gutting and quartering the carcass, which I could have written(and have written). I am not happy about the ending, it doesn't do what I want.  So this may stay on the table for a while..

Cheers.

T

 

Thank you Tim for the kind comments.  Of course you are right about too many questions and the correction should be an easy edit.  I hope your health will be manageable going forward.  And yes, this does skirt the line of BS, perhaps dancing too far over at times.  And yes, it is not meant to be ove...

.      If You Had to Kill the Cow I announce I am converting to vegan  from shell-shocked omnivore – I give up:   I want my health, but not the screed,  too worn down by hammering ideology and lectures from chickens. An odd process, this– to pick fish from pots  of lemon-grass-basil-Thai,  or just b...

I should have also mentioned that I think Einstein carrying the "love" sign is wonderful in this poem. Some things can't be intellectualized :)  and his science has to be taken with an equal amount of heart over head. Or else. JFC, I am so tickled that you are back.  Take whatever time you need, se...

I hold my breath in expectation, my friend.  

T
 

My vote is for the re-write.  Succinct, clean.  Don't change a jot or tittle.  Do the next poem, this one is finalized.  Wonderfully so.  The last stanza is so emotional, and so well earned by it economically fashioned set-up. 

T

 

Colm, This comes as somewhat of a surprise.  I recall Sparky explaining how poems don't benefit from the narrative connections required of prose -- poems only need to have the thread-connections and everything else is fluff, puff, or padding.  As time went on, I learned what that meant primarily fro...

What an engaging and inclusive narrative, Colm.  You made us readers feel a part, even in the routine.  It has the sense of having escaped your usual editing scalpel, and this is more an observation than a crit.

Thanks for keeping us in the circle.

T