The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Thanks Dave and Trev.

Still pondering how much to leave to the reader. The more space I fill in, the less space for the reader, which defeats the intended experience of the poem!

cheers

Phil

hi Trev I like the Eliot ref opening, but who is Jean-Marc? Either way was definitely drawn into the read. Perhaps the weariness needs some edge, some diction danger for more dynamic? best Phil Coffee spoons? No. I’ve measured my life in walls, fridges, questionable habits, houses shared like simmer...

Thanks Jackie. I've revisited to clarify, though not sure which revision to use

cheers

Phil

Thanks T and Linda. Pleased you enjoyed my 'puzzling' poem

all the best

Phil

Reading poets such as Eliot, however, make me want to just break my glasses and move on to the visual arts

 

 

Winter blew off Trotter's Hill so deep the ragged remains of cornstalks went under. Dad stopped going to work. Our house was empty during the day at night voices shouted in bedrooms. Mom gave Duke to a neighboring farm and the furniture to Goodwill. Looks fine to me Linda. Did you mean S6: I was se...

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Yes, viewing from afar, it does feel so irrational and bizarre, a religious fervour, like evolution in reverse!

 

Thank you Trev. Very helpful. Lots of options for me to ponder on. All appreciated.

all the best

Phil

full of warmth and humanness.

Thanks T. That was my central intention. Pleased that came across.

cheers

Phil