The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Nice one Eric. The rumour is as destructive as the malady. Learnt some new words, but the diction added to the interest. Personally, another title would attract a read...I tend to bypass COVID titles (same with cancer/Alzheimer's). I don't mind an ambush if the poem is good.

Phil

Thank you for your encouragement Eric.

Cheers

Phil

Progresses with your unique inventiveness Jackie. From would to could. If we could calibrate technology to...

Pleased you enjoyed Trev. The rhyme was in there, but perhaps too hidden. I've edited. I'll ponder your suggestions and an extension. Appreciated.

cheers

Phil

Hi Colm That title is always a hook (for me), but then so is food🤣. Of course, parallels can be drawn. There is a moderation, mixing, that could be applied to life. Take care with food, its diversity, take care with life. Either way, I like the appreciation of craft and humour. Not too much, not too...

Thank you Jackie and Colm. In essence, you were right Colm. An adult indulged like a child and then having to take on the chores when their partner has died. My final line was misleading, it was referencing books, but I think that thought was not communicated.

cheers

Phil

revision2 Our happy home stays as you shaped with years of cosy furniture; that reading chair where I escaped into hefty books, my quiet pretence. Your list remains, though now I scrape the oven clean. I earn my nap. Nothing bothers my eye. I hear your kindest voice. It's getting late. ------ revis...

Hi Trev
Love rambla and the rhyme you work with it. Pity about the sickly skin, but S2L2 was great. I feel complex is not so evocative. Perhaps you could weave a culinary term in there?

best

Phil

Engrossing Trev. S1 Got my attention. L2 love that comparison. Fright as a debt is interesting. bloat I associate with food rather than air. S2 is not so tight, but taut with knowledge and the notion of form shaped by fear were interesting. S3 takes the focus away from the child S4 Love the cobweb s...

Thanks Trev. The first version has a syllabic pattern 2/4/6/8/6/4/2. The second version is a stress pattern, tetrameter with rhyme. Not sure which I prefer, perhaps an extension of the succinct form is an option, but essentially I feel it is a matter of taste (as always).

cheers

Phil