The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

I would like to respond to the next draft

I would like to respond to the next draft

An interesting poem and set of comments. I get the feel that you are already re-drafting it, so will reserve any comments for the re-appearance of the poem. I like the first stanza and I like the rest of the poem, but i can't see a necessary connection between them. I take 'Notes... ' as a title.

HIIT cycles every evening to prolong the agony of living more repetitive cycles, and I still try harder every time! And all the while my Fitbit's soft rubber band handcuffs me to more unrealistic expectations. Cold showers after will stretch my time, so I'll linger longer in the bad zone where stra...

Welcome!

I find giving comment awkward too and have been known to rub some people up the wrong way so I hope the thoughts are taken in the spirit they are meant - they seem to ahve been as your responses are measured, thoughtful and gracious. i certainly take it in the spirit you offered, which I take to be...

I remember black flowers, a low-slung coffin and priestly incantations. I stared at my boots as they buried their girl, killed in a car crash. Hello Bruise, Nice entrance into the branches. Wonderful entry into the poem. Thank you for the welcome and hello back. A very different reaction to the man...

Hey Bruise, Welcome to the site. Hope you get a lot out of it. Thank you for the welcome, and I already have! I thought there were some nice touches until I got to the last two verses. Up till then, the tone somehow seemed a bit off to me, lacking in something (I can't really explain it). I'd be in...

Hi Bruise and welcome, Thank you for the welcome, Dave, and hello back to you. As has been stated these are thoughtful and carefully put together poems. This is further confirmed by your responses to the comments. As has been already described they provide contrasting experiences of two funerals, o...

Just an interesting article, i thought:

Dear Bad Writers, Read This Poetic Line Breaks Guide

The examples towards the end are good, i thought. The finger-wagging less good! What do you think?