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by indar
Sat Mar 23, 2019 8:43 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Key of Spring
Replies: 8
Views: 5098

Re: Key of Spring

like when cities are populated with orchards and voices  Stand out line here--orchards and voices is exactly right. There is so much to love in this poem.  allow steel grey clouds to drift off their skin , I visualize the city buildings sluffing off winter in a rising steam of gray clouds.  Let the...
by indar
Fri Mar 22, 2019 10:39 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Isle of Pines
Replies: 20
Views: 13242

Re: Isle of Pines

Yes you do---let's see, on a scale of 1 through 10--10 being a full blown sestina you get 3 points and so do I. What could snag a person 1 point? An "it" free poem.
by indar
Fri Mar 22, 2019 10:36 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: The freak
Replies: 6
Views: 4058

Re: The freak

Its web spun lies through bright boulevards in thick congeals, snagged easy in the mortar then spilled easier over the surface Hmmmm--then I don't understand the above in the context of disease. Disease doesn't spread lies but there are many ways lies get told in the presence of disease from family...
by indar
Fri Mar 22, 2019 8:40 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: The freak
Replies: 6
Views: 4058

Re: The freak

Hi Colm, I was immediately intrigued reading the first 2 stanzas. But then the web imagery kind of ground the narrative to a halt for me. (the web snagged in the mortar is a vivid image but doesn't seem to belong here). The outlier freakish presence and some kind of spider activity doesn't. I think ...
by indar
Fri Mar 22, 2019 8:30 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Nobody told me it was World Poetry Day
Replies: 1
Views: 1873

Re: Nobody told me it was World Poetry Day

Hey Gyppo,

Fun poem. My only nit is the title. Someone must have told you or you wouldn't have written this clever poem. How about a title that speaks to the N's shock at hearing there is a day set aside for poetry? :D :D :D
by indar
Mon Mar 18, 2019 5:59 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Nostalgia
Replies: 9
Views: 6015

Re: Nostalgia

Thank you to all three, Dave, Colm and George, I just submitted a poem I wrote probably 4 or 5 years ago to a poetry annual. I've worked on it off and on in the interim. Some poems I write I consider toss offs others are worth the work. I do want to continue to work with this one and I think it migh...
by indar
Mon Mar 18, 2019 5:38 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Pontypool Park: A Formative Year
Replies: 12
Views: 8255

Re: Pontypool Park: A Formative Year

It's interesting that the narrative seemed more confused by the woman and the woodcarver--surely it was not the woman who carved wood. Even I, a woman and sculptor had to read it a couple of times before I realized I was making an assumption. After I chastised myself I got it.
by indar
Sun Mar 17, 2019 12:33 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Pick Six*
Replies: 4
Views: 3300

Re: Pick Six*

To my read each couplet is a discreet thought but taken together I sense a call to moderation, balance and ordering of priorities in life. Appreciate the beauty hold close those you love work effectively and to good purpose stick to basics honor the plain-spoken as in leaves of grass drink almond mi...
by indar
Sun Mar 17, 2019 9:55 am
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Nostalgia
Replies: 9
Views: 6015

Re: Nostalgia

Tracy--thank you so much for the very thoughtful and helpful comments. I will respond at greater length later but I wanted to say right off that "Indian Ponies" is one of my all-time favorite poems. I cried the first time I read it-maybe the third time in my poetry-reading life a poem has moved me t...
by indar
Sat Mar 16, 2019 2:43 pm
Forum: Post Your Poems
Topic: Nostalgia
Replies: 9
Views: 6015

Re: Nostalgia