The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Aah yes, turnip-speak.    Good quad there, Ty.

Very nicely done. I suggest reconsidering ' hissing' as a bit cliche. Also, revisit 'wood steps' for possible modification.


my line of the poem, excellent
 
a boat wood-ribbed like the inside of a fish,

  

Even better on the re-read. Melancholic and evocative. Quad for you.


Bleached

I listen for nostalgia in his footsteps
down a lane from the railway station,
past a red roof house slammed shut
on the blue collar side of the tracks.

Strong writing, with a complex pace within a well-drawn atmosphere.

. Positive ions and negative icons I am a servant of the sun. I meditate in its rays. In the collective memories beyond the windows, I roam in the files of my mind, seeking paradoxes of enlightenment. I sense kindred beings on quests for understanding, a questioning of the questions. Our environmen...

Thanks for that clear and informative article, Matty.

Ha, I probably did spend more time on it than you, with my proofreader's eye. Enjoy your break in Arabia.  

Some alarms are sensed, an internal twitch we should hear but don't, or refuse to. 'an internal twitch' is the main subject of the stanza. It can be sensed as an alarm, something that should be heard,  refused to be heard, or not heard. The sense of a twitch as being auditory isn't a natural connec...

Thanks for read and comments, guys. A Napo 2018 retread.

Well, the ending couplet of the piece is unique in poetry annals in that it conveys imagery of a cow swatting flies off its arse with its tail. Remarkable writing. And indeed, this is an honest image of cattle. Conversely, the rest seemed romanticised to me but then I know cows.