The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Ha yes, the density and texture of the writing well reflects the vegetative exuberance described. A feel-good read.  

Thanks, Gyppo. Insomnia as a plus...

Thanks for looking, guys.

. I’m a newbie smoking doobie and I wanna post a poem on the coast Um, no, it’s about the coast Okay. Wait… okay. All right! Gimme a match! So the beach… (koff) ... I mean the coast… has beaches, mostly. And these beaches have like girls on them, in bikinis. Right? And I used to have one - I mean, ...

A dynamic narrative with actual action going on, nice work. Feels like it could go through 2 or 3 more drafts before settling. Of course, all I want to do is get the rest of the line-ends stepped neatly.

It is a good piece. I like the tone and texture of the writing except for S3. That seems to belong somewhere else. I would cut it altogether. Also something about the ending seems a bit jumbled.  a hole in the ocean swallowed my father. I hung a hand over the side of a boat, silent witness. the sky ...

Hi Dave Thanks for commenting. Wasn't really expecting any feedback... I haven't commented of late.... but I have quietly shifted a ton of crappy spam in recent weeks. You are right, of course, the (shrinking) 4-line format doesn't offer much depth to address complex issues and it shows...but that i...

. At best Goodness will not prevail. and goodwill not return. This may be a dogleg on the  path to evil. Flags We need a baby nuke or two for the next big-big steps and if Mad Vlad won’t, DIY will have to do. Points There will be no pitchfork revolutions with facial scans and carbon merits social c...

I also liked your inspired collective noun and also disliked the dancing market girls, so I'm a conformist. I'd be intrigued to know what goes on between the residents of those houses.

 

I've lost my rubber chicken so I can't remember what I wanted to say.