Long Beach, 2012

[indar]

Long Beach, 2012

The building was old California style:
U-shaped around a center courtyard,
shaded by a tree I didn't recognize,
front wall set with a wrought-iron gate.

Homeless people climbed in and out:
they slept in the tangled weeds and overgrowth,
that nameless tree for a roof;
washed in the common laundry room;
spent their days dumpster-diving
or had covert business enterprises;
some were grateful for resident's left-overs.

Three doors down, through her screen,
Aida often shouted get out get out get out
that's how she warded off evil demons.
At night she crooned Chester the molester
won't leave you alone Chester the molester
won't leave you alone Chester
the molester won't leave you alone.

She had diabetes and was going blind
but she could still read her Bible outside
in the sun and always greeted us
when we walked by. If we stopped to talk
she clucked and worried about
the poor souls in the bushes: raised them
in prayer to the Lord. The two boys 
who wanted to start food-vending 
at a farmer's market tried their best
to help: they shopped and cooked for Aida--
all three pooled their food stamps.

 

[Colm Roe]

Not quite Americana, or the underbelly of America.
These terms are, to a degree, universal. But it still looks like America to me, because 
you do seem to have more than your fair share of 'characters'. 
The devil is in the detail, and I love poems that combine site specific information with 
seemingly random details that breathe real life into the protagonists.
Is this becoming your default genre?
Anywho, loving this    

[Matty11]

I agree, there's authenticity in the details of the narrative that translate the reality. Hunger and homelessness is the 'First World' reality.

best

matty

[Tim J Brennan]

This is great.  

Might be tempted to take the first person out of this and write strictly omniscient N.  I don't see any reason for the "I/we" to be there and I'm not sure why you jump back-and-forth with it.  

I like the name choice:  Aida, the shade from the opera is telling and it is good. Also not sure about "old" California style.  I mean, you are in Long Beach. 

The details are phenomenal. Stark and not overbearing. Again, I think an omniscient approach would allow you "in" to the complex with more ease. As it reads now, not sure how you would know the "inside" layout of this place b/c you are looking from the outside / in.   I read it a couple of times, and all of what you see is from the sidewalk (?) looking in.  

Good read.  Good strong character.

 

[Gyppo]

I get a strange feeling of hope from this poem.

I like it a lot.

It brings to mind this Donovan song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkkGkMNkz9k

Gyppo

[indar]

Colm wrote:
I love poems that combine site specific information with 
seemingly random details that breathe real life into the protagonists.
Is this becoming your default genre?

It's certainly something I'm currently interested in pursuing after the Oceanside collection I wrote during NaPo. The addition of a character with just a bit more depth is something I will try more often in future.

Long Beach is a real cross section--walk a few blocks in any direction and there's a good chance you'll find yourself in a drastically different neighborhood. 

Thanks for the read and kind comments

[indar]

Matty wrote:
I agree, there's authenticity in the details of the narrative that translate the reality. Hunger and homelessness is the 'First World' reality.

Indeed Phil, the difference here is the huge division opening up between upper and lower income (or non-income) groups. Sad.

[indar]

Tim wrote:
"old" California style.  I mean, you are in Long Beach. (my note: point taken)

The details are phenomenal. Stark and not overbearing. Again, I think an omniscient approach would allow you "in" to the complex with more ease. As it reads now, not sure how you would know the "inside" layout of this place b/c you are looking from the outside

I was surprised to read that you didn't read this as observations from one of the residents of the apartments. Perhaps because of the past-tense? I kind of hate to take the first-person element out of it but I'm not certain why. I'll think on it--also the I/we thing. Thank you for the read and comments Tim.

[indar]

Gyppo wrote:
I get a strange feeling of hope from this poem.

Perhaps because the apartment complex is a world of its own in which an alliance and mutual support system between those who have so little has developed?

I have a special place in my heart for Donovan--my daughter, Jenny, had a little girl crush on him: I'm guessing she was certain he was singing "Jennifer Juniper" directly to and about her---she beamed every time she heard it. I'm a Sunshine Superman fan myself.

Thanks for the read and comments

[Gyppo]

Perhaps because the apartment complex is a world of its own in which an alliance and mutual support system between those who have so little has developed?

That's probably it.  I've seen a few of these micro-environments where the most unlikely of alliances form and flourish despite the odds.

Catch the wind is the most evocative Donovan track I know.  Presses a lot of buttons.