Who's There?

[Tim J Brennan]

Midnight is like the middle
of a secret—

yet even owls only moan
one syllable at a time.

[Colm Roe]

Midnight is like the middle
of a secret—

yet even owls only moan
one syllable at a time.

Like this Tim. But would like it so much more without 'yet'. 
But that probably depends on your meaning of 'middle'
Either way, there's a lot going on in a handful of words.
 

[Tim J Brennan]

Midnight is like the middle
of a secret—

yet even owls only moan
one syllable at a time.

Like this Tim. But would like it so much more without 'yet'. 
But that probably depends on your meaning of 'middle'
Either way, there's a lot going on in a handful of words.
 

I guess my editing yet would depend on why you would like it more w/o it, Colm.

[Dave]

If it is being used to mean but, it lacks coherent sense. Is the single syllable owl in contrast to the secret or typical of it? Or am i missing another variation?

[Tim J Brennan]

If it is being used to mean but, it lacks coherent sense. Is the single syllable owl in contrast to the secret or typical of it? Or am i missing another variation?

It does not.

No. And no.

[Dave]

Then i dont get what yet means here nor what the poem is about

[Tim J Brennan]

Then i dont get what yet means here nor what the poem is about

And that's okay, Dave. I don't "get" all the poems I read either. Maybe this one is a "secret"

[Colm Roe]

In such a 'short' poem every word counts.
And the more I read it the more I'm convinced 'yet' should be removed.
If midnight is a secret half revealed (I assume that's the meaning of 'midnight'), the 2nd S supports this...but 'yet' seems
to contradict the support?
 

[Dave]

The poem would be stronger without like as well. It waters down any intended impact. IMO

[Tim J Brennan]

In such a 'short' poem every word counts.
And the more I read it the more I'm convinced 'yet' should be removed.
If midnight is a secret half revealed (I assume that's the meaning of 'midnight'), the 2nd S supports this...but 'yet' seems
to contradict the support?
 

I don't mind dropping "yet" but the poem reads "midnight IS LIKE a secret half revealed" which implies it is something else. Similar, but different. It's almost like saying, "...let me tell it to you this way, so you might understand it better."

Really appreciate your input here, Colm. I have the poem on my laptop both ways. I'm looking at it.