Who's There?

[Tim J Brennan]

The poem would be stronger without like as well. It waters down any intended impact. IMO

I like your input and thank you but not sure you can say this, Dave, since you already told me you "...don't get what I mean nor get what the poem is about."

I admit I have a bad case of adverb-itis. I'm looking at it. Again. I may need an additional line.

[Colm Roe]

 

I don't mind dropping "yet" but the poem reads "midnight IS LIKE a secret half revealed" which implies it is something else. Similar, but different. It's almost like saying, "...let me tell it to you this way, so you might understand it better."

  

OK, that makes sense. But it could be written this way too 

Midnight is like the middle
of a secret

an owl's moan
one syllable at a time.

[Colm Roe]

Either way, I still like it very (your fav word) much 

[Tim J Brennan]

 

I don't mind dropping "yet" but the poem reads "midnight IS LIKE a secret half revealed" which implies it is something else. Similar, but different. It's almost like saying, "...let me tell it to you this way, so you might understand it better."

  

OK, that makes sense. But it could be written this way too 

Midnight is like the middle
of a secret

an owl's moan
one syllable at a time.

It "could" be written that way, Colm. But then it would be different. Thank you for liking it.