Predicted weather

[Colm Roe]

It circles above me, sometimes
blurred shadows drop closer
defining themselves
in curt, crisp introductions,
still too far to swat,
but the handshake is coming.

My obliging body's attraction
lifts me, piece by broken piece
to its negative,
thunderbolts on the horizon,
just reminders
of a change in the weather

of a truth that I've chosen
to ignore.




 

[Matty11]

I like the language Colm. There is a sense of menace. handshake often signifies a gesture that is friendly or even a reconciliation as well as a formality. Here, the use of swat suggests a forced acceptance. The use of curt/crisp adds to the frosty, clinical feel. Of course, the poem could be just about winter is coming, but it felt emotionally darker than that.

cheers

Phil

[Colm Roe]

Hi Phil,
Thanks for your comments and like.
And you're right of course, it is about something darker.
 

[Tim J Brennan]

It circles above me, sometimes
blurred shadows drop closer
defining themselves
in curt, crisp introductions,
still too far to swat,
but the handshake is coming.

My obliging body's attraction
lifts me, piece by broken piece
to its negative,
thunderbolts on the horizon,
just reminders
of a change in the weather

of a truth that I've chosen
to ignore.



 

Our ultimate demise is tough to see (or sense, like the weather) sometimes. For some, bones ache, both with the weather or when sensing the oncoming. Maybe that's why an elephant can go miles to its "graveyard...it just knows.

I've always liked "Death Takes a Holiday" (the old TV version is better than the theater movie re-make...Joe Black, I think). The older guy in the movie shakes the hands of the visiting human form of death. He "senses" he's seen him before. Great scene.

Good read.

[Colm Roe]

Meet Joe Black. I love that film. Haven't seen the original one, I'll have to check it out.
Glad you liked another one of my death/dying poems 

[indar]

For me, the central theme of this is the knowledge of death being forestalled, some times more successfully than others, by denial. Denial is most often thought of as a bad thing but some times it allows us to live our lives as fully as possible until that "handshake". Poignant take on a human dilemma. Good to see you posting again Colm.

[Dave]

Hey Colm
Personally i could do without S1. It seems overly dramatic compared to the rest. Alomost like another poem. Besides if it circles above you where do the multiple shadows come from? And maybe i am dumb but i cant fit the handshake to either the circling or or the shadows or weather. The other 2 stanzas are clear and for me something i can relate to

[Tim J Brennan]

Meet Joe Black. I love that film. Haven't seen the original one, I'll have to check it out.
Glad you liked another one of my death/dying poems 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixnHZLst5Mk

The original, original is way back. Frederic March. Oldie. The one I referred to was made-for-TV.

[Colm Roe]

Hey Colm
Personally i could do without S1. It seems overly dramatic compared to the rest. Alomost like another poem. Besides if it circles above you where do the multiple shadows come from? And maybe i am dumb but i cant fit the handshake to either the circling or or the shadows or weather. The other 2 stanzas are clear and for me something i can relate to

Ill health, or the prospect of death are singular...but they have many facets. The handshake is when death touches the N.
Thanks for reading.

[Colm Roe]

I loved the resonance of the last line of stanza two, it's subtle understating. I think this is the line tht closed the poem off at the right place, for me. 'Reminders of a change in the weather' could have an optimistic message, it has interpretations that I think the last line shuts down (maybe) inadvertently.

I read this one several times. I love the rhythm you created in the first stanza.
 

Thanks AT, glad you enjoyed some of it, but the predicted weather is all bad...so no optimism required