Truth Is

[Tim J Brennan]

Momma sang me lullabies—
soft songs
without any words.

I still want
to listen.

[Tim J Brennan]

It was her B-day on November 4. She would have been 91. Thus, I felt a need to write w/a tad bit of sentimentality.

Thanks for the note about "any"...

[Colm Roe]

I like this Tim, and don't think it's overly sentimental. Although you could lose 'Momma' without losing impact.

She sang me lullabies—
soft songs 
without any words.

I still want 
to listen.

[Tim J Brennan]

I like this Tim, and don't think it's overly sentimental. Although you could lose 'Momma' without losing impact.

She sang me lullabies—
soft songs 
without any words.

I still want 
to listen.

I don't think it's overly sentimental either but I don't really care if it is. "Momma" was the title originally. It stays b/c once removed, it would lose all it's sentimentality

[Dave]

Aren't all lullabies soft songs? You could lose lines 2 and 3 of S1 and lose nothing IMO. Or lose L1. Not convinced of the title. Momma was better being properly sentimental IMO.

[Colm Roe]

Using 'Momma' in a longer poem is ok-ish; it can be slipped in without drawing too much attention to itself.
In such a short poem (for me) it's too telling, and way too sentimental. 
OK, 'Momma' conjures up the idea of a loving relationship...but it's generic and, dare I say it, lazy.
  

[Dave]

I agree with everything you say about Momma Colm yet the currenr title weighs the poem withca potentiousness it doss not need methinks. But anyway.

[Tim J Brennan]

Aren't all lullabies soft songs? You could lose lines 2 and 3 of S1 and lose nothing IMO. Or lose L1. Not convinced of the title. Momma was better being properly sentimental IMO.

I agree. Kinda. Sorta. But lose too much weight and what's the point?

[Tim J Brennan]

Using 'Momma' in a longer poem is ok-ish; it can be slipped in without drawing too much attention to itself.
In such a short poem (for me) it's too telling, and way too sentimental. 
OK, 'Momma' conjures up the idea of a loving relationship...but it's generic and, dare I say it, lazy.
  

It's okay to say it. Doesn't mean you're right

[Tim J Brennan]

I agree with everything you say about Momma Colm yet the currenr title weighs the poem withca potentiousness it doss not need methinks. But anyway.

...methree.