I had ! (Revised)

[Julie James]

What I had is what you not had
But you said you had what I had
I bet, what I had is what no one had
So you urged I had to say what I had
And I said, I had lots of 'had'  to point what you not had !

[Julie James]

Hi Colm Roe !
                 As per your suggestion I made it as little crisp by cutting down some words. I think It's working now. And I suggest all readers to read it at least two or three times to grasp its craziness. If you don't find it as crazy, then just call it as peak of my madness  

[indar]

Hello Julie,

Two things I'd like to address before any discussion of this piece of writing. After I read what you've written I looked at the board in which new participants introduce themselves and did not find anything from you there. I am curious to know if English is your first language.   

I also wonder why you deleted responses to your post from other members. It is often my habit to follow a thread so I'm not just repeating something that has already been said. 

Neither of these things are absolute requirements but I'd like to know more about you.

[indar]

Oh--I just noticed you posted your revision as a separate thread and that's why I didn't see earlier responses from other members. Please post revisions with the original. Click on the little pencil on the bar and you will be allowed to edit at the top with your original or you can post it in the response section.

[Colm Roe]

Why do you think this is crazy? 

[Julie James]

Hi Colm Roe,
I thought it would be crazy, but it has failed.

[Tim J Brennan]

What I had is what you not had
But you said you had what I had
I bet, what I had is what no one had
So you urged I had to say what I had
And I said, I had lots of 'had'  to point what you not had !

One trick poems are a hard sell, Julie. I admire your willingness to edit and condense...important I think to enhance the trick.

Not as crazy as you think...nice play on the "had's and the "had-not's" is the way I see it.

Welcome.