loose clockwork

[Ike]

Mark and Indar I appreciate the read through and your thoughts on the title. Maybe I should have made the whole thing a little more clear, still working on doing that. I also see what you mean about saying "lemons to lemonade" Indar, something like that might be a good touch.

[Ike]

Tracy, I do like the switch of the stanzas better thanks for pointing that out. Thanks for the read and feedback, always appreciated

[Ike]

Marc thanks for the suggestion, I think losing back would be a good touch. It doesn't really add anything. Maybe I'll get around to doing an edit. Appreciate the read and feedback

[Ike]

Thanks for the read Dan, glad it provoked something one way or another

[Colm Roe]

Hi (and HNY) ike,
Sorry to say this makes no sense. Maybe you could give me some idea of what it's trying to say. 
The last two stanzas might seem to conclude it...but I'm scratching my head. 
I think you're trying to be too clever with wordplay.
Actually I can understand it...but there's so little sensory information here I feel cheated.
If you write a love poem again make sure we come away with something more. 
Or just don't write about love. It's not a topic we appreciate, unless it's really good...and most love poems are pure shite!
 

[Dave]

I have spent a lot of time reading and pondering this. The curious title; the odd bookending of the main section with the clock indicating time passing but also that time is out of joint and the advice at the that feels like it is flown from elsewhere even though it is a great line; then the midsection which seems to repeat a simple offer - take my hand and have my hand. Take my hand seems an offer of help or love but have my hand is a bizarre suggestion, especially if not needed by the owner. Is the N the clock?
Take yours when you need is a phrase i stumble over every time as it seems unnatural language to me: use yours or use your own is what i would expect in conversation plus the ellipse is poetic license.
By and large ir suggests poets make poor partners or advisers since the infomation is so oblique though i guess the message is pretty simple