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Frank Goes to Heaven
Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2018 9:06 pm
by Tim J Brennan
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Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2018 1:07 pm
by Mark
I like Frank's exit line and the dust. Is there a reason for capitalizing 'small'?
What is the reason for the day's stale sweetness? On rereading, I took it that the subway or station platform was his experience of 'going into the light' and as such it's an original representation but if so, why would it be a stale experience?
I like the surrealistic ans jaded tone of the poem, it builds well to and then ratchets up, after 'stale sweetness'. which may be why that phrase sticks out there for me.
Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2018 3:21 pm
by Tim J Brennan
Mark wrote: ↑Tue Dec 04, 2018 1:07 pm
I like Frank's exit line and the dust. Is there a reason for capitalizing 'small'?
What is the reason for the day's stale sweetness? On rereading, I took it that the subway or station platform was his experience of 'going into the light' and as such it's an original representation but if so, why would it be a stale experience?
I like the surrealistic ans jaded tone of the poem, it builds well to and then ratchets up, after 'stale sweetness'. which may be why that phrase sticks out there for me.
Thanks, Mark. I like your third line...you pretty much answered yourself on the reread. A lot of times (sometimes even a day later), I might come back to a poem. That you made the effort to reread makes me glad.
As far as the "staleness" of Frank's experience, well, life might seem a bit stale (maybe another way to say "bitter sweet?) when one realizes you're about to take off w/God as your driver. I would think so, anyway.
Thanks for the thoughts.
Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:57 am
by Dave
On the whole enjoyed this. A fun piece. Question: chairs burning or Frank?
My only quibble is: I am getting it tonight, baby.
This is tonally different and ok as a Brit - not your fault I know - baby jars. But who cares? Easy read
Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 9:23 pm
by Tim J Brennan
Dave wrote: ↑Wed Dec 05, 2018 8:57 am
On the whole enjoyed this. A fun piece. Question: chairs burning or Frank?
My only quibble is: I am getting it tonight, baby.
This is tonally different and ok as a Brit - not your fault I know - baby jars. But who cares? Easy read
Glad you enjoyed on the whole, Dave. As per usual, have no clue to what "baby jars" refers.
But who cares?
Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 2:38 am
by Dave
It is unimportant. The word jars means it stands out and grates somewhat. I always found 'baby' a weird word - doesn't mean you need to change anything. It is the kind of word that an American can make sound natural and sounds absolutely stupid when a British person uses it, in my experience.
Dave
Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 8:07 am
by Tim J Brennan
Dave wrote: ↑Fri Dec 07, 2018 2:38 am
It is unimportant. The word jars means it stands out and grates somewhat. I always found 'baby' a weird word - doesn't mean you need to change anything. It is the kind of word that an American can make sound natural and sounds absolutely stupid when a British person uses it, in my experience.
Dave
...well, I guess you should stay away from using the word then. I grew up on late '60's / 70's music & television/movies...
who loves ya', baby?
Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 2:10 pm
by Mark
Tim J Brennan wrote: ↑Tue Dec 04, 2018 3:21 pm
Mark wrote: ↑Tue Dec 04, 2018 1:07 pm
I like Frank's exit line and the dust. Is there a reason for capitalizing 'small'?
What is the reason for the day's stale sweetness? On rereading, I took it that the subway or station platform was his experience of 'going into the light' and as such it's an original representation but if so, why would it be a stale experience?
I like the surrealistic ans jaded tone of the poem, it builds well to and then ratchets up, after 'stale sweetness'. which may be why that phrase sticks out there for me.
Thanks, Mark. I like your third line...you pretty much answered yourself on the reread. A lot of times (sometimes even a day later), I might come back to a poem. That you made the effort to reread makes me glad.
As far as the "staleness" of Frank's experience, well, life might seem a bit stale (maybe another way to say "bitter sweet?) when one realizes you're about to take off w/God as your driver. I would think so, anyway.
Thanks for the thoughts.
That's my point - the poem's construction lent me the impression the stale sweetness is associated with God's road trip but yeah, stale sweetness is a good descriptor for a life that's over.
Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2018 12:55 pm
by indar
There is a book titled The Poets Companion that is quite good. In it the authors suggest many great prompts. One, if I remember correctly is about someone's arrival in heaven. I wrote a response to it and I'm going to post it as soon as I can find it. I very much like these (slightly irreverent) type imaginings. (I'm of an age, however, that causes me a knee-jerk "ick" reaction to an F bomb)
Re: Frank Goes to Heaven
Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2018 10:41 am
by Tim J Brennan
indar wrote: ↑Sat Dec 08, 2018 12:55 pm
There is a book titled The Poets Companion that is quite good. In it the authors suggest many great prompts. One, if I remember correctly is about someone's arrival in heaven. I wrote a response to it and I'm going to post it as soon as I can find it. I very much like these (slightly irreverent) type imaginings. (I'm of an age, however, that causes me a knee-jerk "ick" reaction to an F bomb)
me, too. But Frank used to say it all the time so it fits for me.