Divorced

[Tim J Brennan]

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[Dave]

An unusual poem for you as it lacks everything: images, sensory language, charcters, real narrative and something tangible. It is all abstract and cliche abstract at that. You generally have a reason for what you do but this is tough to fathom other than an experiment with form.

[Colm Roe]

Hemingway...but you did it in six...try harder next time 
Write what you know Tim...and you know nothing about divorce 
 
Divorce
 
They took
turns.
Mannerly 
assassinations. 

 

[Tim J Brennan]

Hemingway...but you did it in six...try harder next time 
Write what you know Tim...and you know nothing about divorce 
 
Divorce
 
They took
turns.
Mannerly 
assassinations. 

 

I know enough about divorce to stay married  ;)  
 

[Tim J Brennan]

An unusual poem for you as it lacks everything: images, sensory language, charcters, real narrative and something tangible. It is all abstract and cliche abstract at that. You generally have a reason for what you do but this is tough to fathom other than an experiment with form.

"...for you...:"

As usual with something different, Dave, your critique is pretty worthless  ;)

[Dave]

Not sure what you mean Tim. Maybe it is not different for you and you do indeed do a lot of different styles. Difference is neither good nor bad of itself. Normally your poems are precise and engaging. This seems lacking in anything to emotionally or intellectually engage with. Who are they, what have they done, why assassinate etc? Worthless? i am not familiar with smilies and what they want to say.sorry

[Tim J Brennan]

Not sure what you mean Tim. Maybe it is not different for you and you do indeed do a lot of different styles. Difference is neither good nor bad of itself. Normally your poems are precise and engaging. This seems lacking in anything to emotionally or intellectually engage with. Who are they, what have they done, why assassinate etc? Worthless? i am not familiar with smilies and what they want to say.sorry

I think I will just move on from you, Dave. I have posted a few poems here and for some reason this one is unusual to you because "...it lacks everything..." and you kill it w/o a question asked. You don't even give me the courtesy of allowing me an explanation.  

This site is barely alive the way it is.  With critiques like yours, it won't survive. Good luck w/your writing.  

[Julie James]

God gave me a precious life to live.
I don't wanna waste my precious time by criticising your poem.
It's simply waste of time.
You don't have a right to object fellow poet's critique as worthless.
Your piece is pretty much worthless!
It's lack of everything!
Take my comment in a positive way, and try to do something better rather than thinking yourself as smart!

[Colm Roe]

Maybe this a good time to count to ten, take a few deep breaths, and remember this is just poetry!
 

[Granda]

I HAVE been divorced. And messily so. I still feel the repercussions today, albeit in small ways rather than large.
I know what you were trying to say, it's just, for me, you could have chosen a more 'hit-you-in-the-balls' way of saying it. 
The way you wrote it in terse words, doesn't invite me in to the thing. It's more like a headline in a sleazy red-top. Maybe you would like to tell me what's behind it? OR indeed, what you were trying to get over to us? 

As for the above crits. I've never been a one for harsh-for-the-sake-of-it, crits.
Why bother?
It teaches nothing about proper critique.
And the poet gets nothing constructive from them. Apart from a disdain for whoever took it upon themselves to be
indirectly, or directly nasty.
This isn't facebook.
Behave yourselves and treat people with the respect they deserve.