The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

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Mostly

The past is pain
and the future is fear.
The present is everywhere,
and whenever is again too near.

Grim one Mark.
Personally I'd be more positive 

Mostly

The past had some good days
the future holds no fear.
The present just happened,
good pain means something
and whenever is a nothing, that
can't be avoided.

Not being flippant Mark...just my take on it.
It has some merit...but a little too vague.

Thanks Colm. Not actually meant to be dismal, more about being in the moment,focusing on the now...but in 4 slanty lines. 

I only saw the words Mark, the form was lost on me.
I saw pain and fear in the first two lines, so my focus narrowed to suck as much information 
from each word.
For me these 'artificially' constructed poems are similar to rhyming poems...you're restricted,
as you force inadequate words into confined spaces. It's like being in jail 
 

Hm. If you didn't notice the form initially, that's a good indication the form is subordinate to the content. I don't force anything - the first three lines fell into place quite naturally with regard to what I wanted to say - basically a part-condensation of the philosophies of Sonia Ricotti and Eckhart Tolle, stuff that has my interest at the moment - and the fourth line just needed a slight tweak, and there I would refer you to Sharon's signature tag line, which says it all. I selected the title to soften the absolutism of the first two lines and that happened to line up too.
Quad poems are a form I picked up from Marc, back then. With such a short format I prefer something other than just white space to indicate that a poem is a poem - and this also has alliteration, some casual rhyme, a near-assonance, 4 x 'is' for repetition and a general symmetry. What I don't like is the comma at the end of L3 which affects the punctuation symmetry, and also the syllable count of 6-6-8-9 as 6-7-8-9 would have been more satisfying although no-one would notice that. Going for 7 syllables in L2 would have been forcing the content to be subordinate to the form, most likely. But this isn't about the form, that's just a by-product of a little discipline around poetic elements, which we all presumably practice. I'd rather discuss, if anything, the content.      

Jeez Mark, I fell asleep half way through the 2nd line of your last post.
This really is 'poetry by numbers'. As for the content...it's neat....
 

Thanks - sorry, I've been offline for a few days. Glad to provide an insomnia cure.

What can I say about this without insulting you Mark...and I don't want to.
When I write I'm not counting anything...I'm just writing .
If you enjoy writing this way, that's fine. But I'm not enamoured with the idea 
of sitting in a Zen garden counting syllables, or whatever (e.g.) Haiku people do.
I (actually) used to paint by numbers; it was a pleasant enough exercise starting out. But I soon
grew tired of it and started paint by myself.  

Like Colm I am not usually a great one for form but can see that it has merits at least as an exercise or as a way of honing certain poetic skills. The philosophy behind the poem is clear and idea sound but the poem a little too blank to have a deeper impact. It remains an abstract surface on which to project reality.
Dave

Really? You 're under the impression I counted the syllables while writing the poem? When have I ever written metered poems?  I counted them post-write/your comment about artificiality, and mentioned it to indicate that it's not a real form poem other than the line lengths, my little idiosyncrasy. I fail to see how that can't be apparent. It was a crappy little warm-up poem, knocked off in a couple of throwaway minutes, and I seriously can't be bothered to engage any further in defending it, or myself as a poet.

Dave, if you find the four lines an abstract surface on which to project reality, that's fine by me.