There it hangs inches over the horizon
big as a five-mile-wide beach ball.
You can see the Japanese rabbit
and the tilted cockeyed grin warm
the spritz of edge-lit cloud strung
alongside to mark its way:
Come here! Come here! you shout,
You've got to see this!
Put down your lap top! Hurry out here!
The higher the moon rises,
the more distant it gets; the cooler its light.
The curious animal, the jokester face
disappear. By the time he gets to the back door,
its too late.
Welcome to The Tangled Branch! Join us.
Slip-Away
Re: Slip-away
Lots to appreciate here indar.
However, S2 reads telling and slightly awkward.
IMO it requires a few nips & tucks e.g.
There it hangs, inches over the horizon
big as a five-mile-wide beach ball.
You can see both the Japanese rabbit
and the tilted, cockeyed grin warming
the spritz of edge-lit cloud,
strung alongside
to mark its way:
That said, I still love it.
However, S2 reads telling and slightly awkward.
IMO it requires a few nips & tucks e.g.
There it hangs, inches over the horizon
big as a five-mile-wide beach ball.
You can see both the Japanese rabbit
and the tilted, cockeyed grin warming
the spritz of edge-lit cloud,
strung alongside
to mark its way:
That said, I still love it.
- Tracy Mitchell
- Posts: 3399
- Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:58 pm
Re: Slip-away
Love this. The moon is magic. Last Sunday we hiked to a nearby ridge to watch the Wolf Moon/SuperMoon/Blood Moon - eclipse. Gorgeous and this poem renews the feeling.
Just asking -- should the "A" in 'away' be capitalized?
T
Just asking -- should the "A" in 'away' be capitalized?
T
Re: Slip-away
Thank you Tracy,
Slip-Away? Hmmmm---couldn't hurt. I'll get right on it.
Slip-Away? Hmmmm---couldn't hurt. I'll get right on it.
Re: Slip-Away
This is simply great. Indar. Love it.