Slip-Away

[indar]

There it hangs inches over the horizon
big as a five-mile-wide beach ball.
You can see the Japanese rabbit 
and the tilted cockeyed grin warm
the spritz of edge-lit cloud strung
alongside to mark its way:

Come here! Come here! you shout,
You've got to see this!
Put down your lap top! Hurry out here!

The higher the moon rises,
the more distant it gets; the cooler its light.
The curious animal, the jokester face
disappear. By the time he gets to the back door,
its too late.


 

[Colm Roe]

Lots to appreciate here indar.
However, S2 reads telling and slightly awkward. 

IMO it requires a few nips & tucks e.g.

There it hangs, inches over the horizon
big as a five-mile-wide beach ball.
You can see both the Japanese rabbit 
and the tilted, cockeyed grin warming
the spritz of edge-lit cloud, 
strung alongside
to mark its way:

That said, I still love it.

 

[indar]

Done and done and thank you

[Tracy Mitchell]

Love this. The moon is magic. Last Sunday we hiked to a nearby ridge to watch the Wolf Moon/SuperMoon/Blood Moon - eclipse. Gorgeous and this poem renews the feeling.

Just asking -- should the "A" in 'away' be capitalized?

T

[indar]

Thank you Tracy,
Slip-Away? Hmmmm---couldn't hurt. I'll get right on it.

[Dave]

This is simply great. Indar. Love it.

[indar]

Thank you Dave.