Page 1 of 1
Pick Six*
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 10:17 am
by Tracy Mitchell
~
Pick Six*
again morning
boats sway
locust limbs form
an archway
branches wave toward
pinion jays
auburn hair in
disarray
love’s last cliche-
please stay
clouds encase an
open bay
so square away
the workday
don’t take on more
or over pay
salt away then
hit the hay.
Cart away
the protégée,
Hemingway, or
there will be
hell to pay
________________
* Yet cashew milk
says
no whey
~
Re: Pick Six*
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 11:25 am
by Dave
Puzzling title/s. The first six stanzas are Beautiful and relate to nature and the true joys of man in nature while the following stanzas are advice - I am getting advice to lessen work so that the joys of nature don't get lost. If work takes precedence, it would seem the source of poetry is lost too. I enjoyed this without necessarily Mastering all the meaning.
Dave
Re: Pick Six*
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 12:33 pm
by indar
To my read each couplet is a discreet thought but taken together I sense a call to moderation, balance and ordering of priorities in life.
Appreciate the beauty
hold close those you love
work effectively and to good purpose
stick to basics
honor the plain-spoken as in leaves of grass
drink almond milk?
A benefit of belonging to a forum such as ours is we become familiar with one another's writing styles and recognize when one among us is striking out into different territory. Your rhyming couplets are effective in this instance---almost like mnemonic devices--and make for a fun read as well.
Re: Pick Six*
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 1:31 pm
by Tracy Mitchell
Thank you Dave and Linda. I did not know how this would be received. As you note, it is experimental.
I am glad you get the sense of the separate but connectedness of the stanzas.
I suppose the title is too cryptic, but the intent was to make this a participatory poem. From the twelve offered stanzas, the reader may pick any six for their own poem.
Conforming each of the stanzas to the same form was intended to smooth the matching of the various combinations, allowing for a variety of poems, some of which lighthearted, some instructive, some frivolous. The rhyme and meter were intended to impart a gentle sway in the reading regardless of which stanzas are selected.
I think it didn't hit its target, but was useful to write, and certainly fun in any event.
Cheers.
T
Re: Pick Six*
Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2019 4:07 pm
by Dave
Actually the pick and mix idea did cross my mind and is genius. Lovely to see e perimentaion and fun and even rhyme.