The Tangled Branch Discussion Forums

Triolet 24

Noise, a stone weighted down.
Light, a knife slicing in the dark.
Wind, a dervish on the mound.
Noise, a stone weighted down
Rushing all over town . . .
Everything a lark.
Noise, a stone weighted down.
Light, a knife slicing in the dark.
 

Wow, Marcel - a third place to find your poems !!!!!!!
Aj  

Some nice lines, but I feel the poem would benefit from more symmetry such as equally stressed lines.

best

Phil

Haven't heard from Marcel lately: I assume he is off getting his chapbook of triolets ready for print-----

Hi Indar -

He is quite busy, juggling more than on project.  He says he will post here soon.

Aj