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Reality Show

Posted: Sat May 11, 2019 4:04 pm
by indar
Reality Show

Mountains mourn
black tree bones
still standing 
at their feet.

Zombie roots
hold back landslides,
they do not yet know
they are dead. 

Day after day
a bright sun sky
smiles, unrelentingly,
the smile
of mental unbalance.

Frogs in thrall
never jumped, lulled
by warmth and now--
here's Johnny.

 

Re: Reality Show

Posted: Mon May 13, 2019 3:07 pm
by Tracy Mitchell
Well done, Indar.  The image of the scorched tree trunks still standing is stark, strong. "They do not yet know they are dead".  By the fourth reading, how devastating S.2 & S.3 are finally sunk in.   This poem is an object lesson in the power of image over metaphor.  Of course, as allegory, we are the frogs.

After all of the back-slapping of NaPo, I was looking forward to getting back to some critique.  But alas!! No nits to pick with this gem.   :D

Thanks for posting.

T

Re: Reality Show

Posted: Mon May 13, 2019 6:32 pm
by indar
Thank you Tracy,

Yes, the back-slapping was fun wasn't it. I did expect a little grief over the last line in this one---it is a case of not knowing how to end the thing. But I will come up with something better eventually. Somehow I've discovered posting a flawed piece of writing puts on the pressure to make it better before it hangs out there for the world to see for too long :D :oops:

Re: Reality Show

Posted: Mon May 13, 2019 7:11 pm
by Tracy Mitchell
Sorry Indar, I like the last line-- not just a reference to Johnny Carson, of course, but to Jack Nicholson's utterance of the line in The Shining.  

T

Re: Reality Show

Posted: Mon May 13, 2019 7:34 pm
by indar
Jack Nicholson's utterance of the line in The Shining.  

Yep--that's it in line with the demented smile.

Re: Reality Show

Posted: Tue May 14, 2019 11:11 am
by indar
Just heard about this on the news this morning. Bill Nye the TV science guy, usually as mild-mannered as Mr Rogers, said it much better than my poem:

www.ktvu.com/news/now-trending/the-plan ... ate-change


 

Re: Reality Show

Posted: Tue May 14, 2019 1:47 pm
by Tracy Mitchell
Bill Nye -- nice guy,
but Indar'll show'em
with the better poem. :)

Okay, I need to go find the crappy poem thread.  :roll: :roll:

 

Re: Reality Show

Posted: Tue May 14, 2019 2:11 pm
by indar
I keep hoping that by some miracle the original CPT will rise again where we least expect it. Possibly my best effort was on that thread and I can't remember it. The last two lines:

I am forced to live a lie
laughing when I want to cry


Genius. Sparky responded: aye lass, aye, methinks there are many here who can relate.

:) :) :)