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Spittlebugs

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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Dave
Posts: 2054
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:07 am

Spittlebugs

Post by Dave » Wed Jul 24, 2019 7:11 am

Spittlebugs

My words come thick and fast,
their speed and expressiveness
fills the air with devastation,
this stormbringer tosses truth
out with the broken future -

such is the art of a lie. 

I hold still,
time to see
clear contours through the blur.

and there they are:
spittlebugs on your lip,
and I know you're safe.
 
Last edited by Dave on Thu Jul 25, 2019 4:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

indar
Posts: 2991
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 8:00 am

Re: Spittlebugs

Post by indar » Wed Jul 24, 2019 2:52 pm

Egads, Dave--I looked up spittlebugs. This is one harsh piece of writing. Well-written, effective but heart-breaking.

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Colm Roe
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Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:45 am

Re: Spittlebugs

Post by Colm Roe » Wed Jul 24, 2019 6:01 pm

Nice read Dave.
Interesting use of spittle.
Typo on last line? 'You're'  

Dave
Posts: 2054
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:07 am

Re: Spittlebugs

Post by Dave » Thu Jul 25, 2019 4:50 am

Thanks Indar - perhaps harsher than meant - maybe a result of the edit from the NAPO version.
Thanks Colm  for the comment of the typo - so obvious and so silly.
Dave

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Tracy Mitchell
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Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:58 pm

Re: Spittlebugs

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Sat Jul 27, 2019 8:48 am

Awesome narrative hits like a full-open water hose.
Stunning closing lines.

Wow, and bravo.  :)

T

poet-e
Posts: 247
Joined: Wed Jun 19, 2019 3:10 pm

Re: Spittlebugs

Post by poet-e » Tue Sep 24, 2019 4:23 pm

Why spittlebugs?  Because they suck plants' sap, like draining a soul?
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/19/scie ... -home.html

Guess last stanza confuses me.

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