Goodbye Cruel World
Posted: Fri Aug 02, 2019 8:13 am
I sometimes wonder, Earth,
despite your vast age and remarkable girth
and the fact that you’re all anyone’s known since birth,
whether you’re really worth
saving.
This may be contentious and seldom ever stated,
but I’m starting to think you’re a little overrated.
In case you’re oblivious and haven’t a clue
I’ll give you the gist of my problems with you.
Your transit is dull and predictable,
your sunsets a boring cliché.
your deserts ho hum,
your vistas hum drum
and your mountains just get in the way.
And everywhere could be much better -
seas warmer and hot places wetter.
To snowstorms I think you should say no
and who needs a frigging volcano?
You’re also quite mean and vindictive. You set out to hurt and destroy -
sending storm, flood, hurricane, rivers of fire like the whims of a nasty small boy.
Have you any idea how you get on the tits
of the people who live in the poorest bits?
- spotting a small and innocuous town
you’ll wobble and shake ‘til the buildings fall down.
When people in sandals cry ‘Down with the car!’
I don’t think they realise how horrid you are.
I won’t be the saviour
of your dreadful behaviour
so I’m not going to switch off my lights any more
and I’ll run over bikes in my 4x4.
Though some may admonish and call it a sin
I’ll chuck all my tins in the wrong colour bin.
And if it gets personal between you and I
I’ll turn up the heat ‘til you burn up and die
...It’s regrettably true
that we’d all die too.
Such a great shame
and I’d be to blame -
that’s brutal I know
but anyway, hey ho.
Then one day you’ll find yourself drifting in space
completely devoid of the whole human race
And you’ll say ‘Oh no,
where did everyone go?
Was it something I said?
They can’t all be dead.'
And spinning forlornly you’ll pause to reflect
on the way you behaved and the lives that you wrecked.
Lucky for you, you’ll have plenty of time
to start off again with primordial slime.
despite your vast age and remarkable girth
and the fact that you’re all anyone’s known since birth,
whether you’re really worth
saving.
This may be contentious and seldom ever stated,
but I’m starting to think you’re a little overrated.
In case you’re oblivious and haven’t a clue
I’ll give you the gist of my problems with you.
Your transit is dull and predictable,
your sunsets a boring cliché.
your deserts ho hum,
your vistas hum drum
and your mountains just get in the way.
And everywhere could be much better -
seas warmer and hot places wetter.
To snowstorms I think you should say no
and who needs a frigging volcano?
You’re also quite mean and vindictive. You set out to hurt and destroy -
sending storm, flood, hurricane, rivers of fire like the whims of a nasty small boy.
Have you any idea how you get on the tits
of the people who live in the poorest bits?
- spotting a small and innocuous town
you’ll wobble and shake ‘til the buildings fall down.
When people in sandals cry ‘Down with the car!’
I don’t think they realise how horrid you are.
I won’t be the saviour
of your dreadful behaviour
so I’m not going to switch off my lights any more
and I’ll run over bikes in my 4x4.
Though some may admonish and call it a sin
I’ll chuck all my tins in the wrong colour bin.
And if it gets personal between you and I
I’ll turn up the heat ‘til you burn up and die
...It’s regrettably true
that we’d all die too.
Such a great shame
and I’d be to blame -
that’s brutal I know
but anyway, hey ho.
Then one day you’ll find yourself drifting in space
completely devoid of the whole human race
And you’ll say ‘Oh no,
where did everyone go?
Was it something I said?
They can’t all be dead.'
And spinning forlornly you’ll pause to reflect
on the way you behaved and the lives that you wrecked.
Lucky for you, you’ll have plenty of time
to start off again with primordial slime.
