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The rock

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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Colm Roe
Posts: 927
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:45 am

The rock

Post by Colm Roe » Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:45 am

There's a large rock in a field,
the farmer could remove it,
gain a little more profit 
from the extra seeds...but he doesn't.

He wastes time working around it,
spends a little more on diesel
and each time he navigates around it
his harvester wears down more than his neighbour's.
 
Stand on top of it
and scan the surrounding landscape...what do you see?
Pristine fields...not another rock in sight!

Time hasn't softened it.
It's a jagged thing, most think it ugly,
but you'll often find him leaning against it
or from a distance, gazing upon it.

Is it respect, a reminder
of the blood, sweat and tears his forefathers spent
removing stones to create a field good enough
to feed their families?

It's that...but much more.
He has of course pissed behind it,
isn't that one of the reasons God created big rocks.
He's cried desolate tears behind it
when young girls broke his heart,
or when God took yet another of his family
and he was too shy to cry in public.

It was a shield when shame embarrassed him,
every fold of it was as familiar 
as the callouses on his hands.
And when he discovered 'the one' 
it became their meeting place.

Every Summer wheat's gentle caress 
encircles it, 
when Autumn comes
and the surrounding fields disrespect nature   
with unnatural parallel lines, 
his curve beautiful around it  
in sensual brush strokes.

It punctuates his life,
stamps his lineage on the land,
it's an anchor and a reminder, that
only on reflection
do we see where the real obstacles lie.


I've been asked to recite a poem at a friend's book launch in October...'Discover your Inner GPS'
It's an interesting read. She 'died' for 20 minutes during the birth of one of her children and is now a life coach, among other things.
She's a lovely person...don't know if asking Dr. Death to write a poem for the occasion was a good call though  :shock:
This is my first effort, and she hasn't read it yet.

ajduclos
Posts: 264
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2019 7:35 pm

Re: The rock

Post by ajduclos » Mon Aug 12, 2019 1:06 pm

Colm, for what it's worth from this poetic newbie, this is a beautiful and passionate bit of writing, about living against the odds, treasuring the past and of being rock-solidly grounded in the now.  I love it - wish like crazy I could write like that.

I suspect your book launching friend will be delighted with it.

Aj

  

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Colm Roe
Posts: 927
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:45 am

Re: The rock

Post by Colm Roe » Mon Aug 12, 2019 2:37 pm

Thanks aj :)
She has now read the poem and is quite happy with it :)

indar
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Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:00 pm

Re: The rock

Post by indar » Mon Aug 12, 2019 7:56 pm

Life's "obstacles" teach us so much and end up enriching our lives if we do not despair. Lovely analogy, wonderful imagery, honesty and humility in this one Colm. Bravo.

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Colm Roe
Posts: 927
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:45 am

Re: The rock

Post by Colm Roe » Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:50 am

Thanks L...glad you approve. 
It's slightly 'plumped out' for the recital...but hey!
 

Matty11
Posts: 399
Joined: Fri Jan 12, 2018 2:58 am

Re: The rock

Post by Matty11 » Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:37 am

Good one Colm. I can see what you mean by 'plumped' out, but essentially there is plenty in there for those listening to connect with.

young girls - not sure if 'young' is needed there, implied with girls, and perhaps it sends  the wrong message in these abusive times?
Every Summer wheat's gentle caress 
encircles it, 
when Autumn comes
and the surrounding fields disrespect nature   
with unnatural parallel lines, 
his curve beautiful around it  
in sensual brush strokes.
This section felt less grounded than the rest, but that could be me (do you need gentle?)
and he was too acting the man to cry in public.
Just a thought. Another one is that 'it' appears a lot through the write and therefore using' rock' more often may be an option.

cheers

Phil
 
Colm Roe wrote:
Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:45 am
There's a large rock in a field,
the farmer could remove it,
gain a little more profit 
from the extra seeds...but he doesn't.

He wastes time working around it,
spends a little more on diesel
and each time he navigates around it
his harvester wears down more than his neighbour's.
 
Stand on top of it
and scan the surrounding landscape...what do you see?
Pristine fields...not another rock in sight!

Time hasn't softened it.
It's a jagged thing, most think it ugly,
but you'll often find him leaning against it
or from a distance, gazing upon it.

Is it respect, a reminder
of the blood, sweat and tears his forefathers spent
removing stones to create a field good enough
to feed their families?

It's that...but much more.
He has of course pissed behind it,
isn't that one of the reasons God created big rocks.
He's cried desolate tears behind it
when young girls broke his heart,
or when God took yet another of his family
and he was too shy to cry in public.

It was a shield when shame embarrassed him,
every fold of it was as familiar 
as the callouses on his hands.
And when he discovered 'the one' 
it became their meeting place.

Every Summer wheat's gentle caress 
encircles it, 
when Autumn comes
and the surrounding fields disrespect nature   
with unnatural parallel lines, 
his curve beautiful around it  
in sensual brush strokes.

It punctuates his life,
stamps his lineage on the land,
it's an anchor and a reminder, that
only on reflection
do we see where the real obstacles lie.


I've been asked to recite a poem at a friend's book launch in October...'Discover your Inner GPS'
It's an interesting read. She 'died' for 20 minutes during the birth of one of her children and is now a life coach, among other things.
She's a lovely person...don't know if asking Dr. Death to write a poem for the occasion was a good call though  :shock:
This is my first effort, and she hasn't read it yet.

 

User avatar
Colm Roe
Posts: 927
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:45 am

Re: The rock

Post by Colm Roe » Sat Aug 17, 2019 1:09 am

Thanks Matty.
Some valid comments  :)

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Gyppo
Posts: 278
Joined: Sat Mar 31, 2018 9:28 pm
Location: UK

Re: The rock

Post by Gyppo » Sun Aug 18, 2019 2:06 pm

Colm,

I'm a bit late to the party, but I really like this.  It seems to me that you have quietly imbued the rock with a kind of personality, rather like the way Jack London made weather conditions and terrain into active players in his tales of the frozen north.

Minor nit pick.  Shouldn't there be a question mark after this...  isn't that one of the reasons God created big rocks.

Mind you, people would hear it in a reading even it's missing from the paper.

Gyppo
I've been writing ever since I realised I could.  Storytelling since I started talking.  Poetry however comes and goes  ;-)

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Colm Roe
Posts: 927
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:45 am

Re: The rock

Post by Colm Roe » Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:59 am

Hi Gyppo,
Thanks for your approval  :)
I (probably) mistakenly left the ? out...but google (search long enough and you'll find someone who'll tell you that you're right) was there to the rescue  :D  It seems rhetorical questions can end with
?, ! or just a full stop; it depends on your intent.

On the accuracy of information, I came a fab quote from an author (Sue Grafton) when asked how accurate a fact in her book was, her reply, 'I know it's true, because I made it up myself.' 

poet-e
Posts: 85
Joined: Wed Jun 19, 2019 9:10 pm

Re: The rock

Post by poet-e » Wed Sep 11, 2019 12:01 am

Is the he in "God created big rocks.
He's cried desolate tears behind it
when young girls broke his heart,"  -->  the farmer or God?

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