Welcome to The Tangled Branch!  Join us.

The bookshop antiquarian removes her glasses (revised)

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
Post Reply
Matty11
Posts: 1585
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:58 pm

The bookshop antiquarian removes her glasses (revised)

Post by Matty11 » Mon Oct 28, 2019 1:04 am

.
Last edited by Matty11 on Thu Feb 11, 2021 2:24 pm, edited 4 times in total.

User avatar
Colm Roe
Posts: 2697
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:45 am

Re: The bookshop antiquarian removes her glasses

Post by Colm Roe » Mon Oct 28, 2019 7:27 pm

Enjoyed this unusual read Phil.
And especially liked this fantastic image

diverts the interrogation of rain
working on the cracks in stone.

 

Matty11
Posts: 1585
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:58 pm

Re: The bookshop antiquarian removes her glasses

Post by Matty11 » Tue Oct 29, 2019 12:10 am

Pleased you enjoyed Colm. The whole is the poem, but often it is a line/phrase which stays with the reader.

cheers

Phil

User avatar
Tracy Mitchell
Posts: 3179
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:58 pm

Re: The bookshop antiquarian removes her glasses (revised)

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Sun Nov 03, 2019 9:27 pm

I am sucked into this like a librarian into a book.   :D

The poem even presents as film noir, not an easy task.

I enjoyed the succession of drafts, yet find some gems in each.  I don't know how you will conclude the editing, you might have already finished.  I'll be back to this.

Cheers.

T
 

Matty11
Posts: 1585
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:58 pm

Re: The bookshop antiquarian removes her glasses (revised)

Post by Matty11 » Mon Nov 04, 2019 11:41 am



:)

User avatar
Tracy Mitchell
Posts: 3179
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:58 pm

Re: The bookshop antiquarian removes her glasses (revised)

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Mon Nov 04, 2019 1:47 pm

"I see", said the blindman.  I like this very much, Matty, and the vidclip was eyeopening for me.  What a marvelous scene.  I think you have nailed it with the poem.

From the first revision, I like the poem closing with this passage [for what its worth]:

For a shot of rye
the antiquarian removes her glasses.
You begin to interest me...vaguely
she answers.

Matty11
Posts: 1585
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:58 pm

Re: The bookshop antiquarian removes her glasses (revised)

Post by Matty11 » Mon Nov 04, 2019 11:14 pm

Thanks T. Duly changed.

cheers

Phil

indar
Posts: 2908
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 8:00 am

Re: The bookshop antiquarian removes her glasses (revised)

Post by indar » Wed Nov 06, 2019 9:47 am

I read this before you posted the clip. You had the feel of it down pat. I even thought of Bogey as i read. How corney were those old romantic scenes. No wonder my mothers (ahem)  genereration harbored such unrealistic ideas about "love". I like the last wdit best.

Matty11
Posts: 1585
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:58 pm

Re: The bookshop antiquarian removes her glasses (revised)

Post by Matty11 » Thu Nov 07, 2019 2:28 am

Pleased you got the angle prior to me posting the clip. The 1940's mindset is such a different filter to the contemporary one.

cheers

Phil
indar wrote:
Wed Nov 06, 2019 9:47 am
I read this before you posted the clip. You had the feel of it down pat. I even thought of Bogey as i read. How corney were those old romantic scenes. No wonder my mothers (ahem)  genereration harbored such unrealistic ideas about "love". I like the last wdit best.

 

Post Reply