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Jammie Dodger

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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Matty11
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Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:58 pm

Jammie Dodger

Post by Matty11 » Fri Nov 08, 2019 2:13 am

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Last edited by Matty11 on Thu Feb 11, 2021 2:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Tracy Mitchell
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Re: Jammie Dodger

Post by Tracy Mitchell » Sat Nov 09, 2019 8:49 am

mug/pug/tug = :)

Favorite line:  A dearer pint, needs must.

Wonderful closing - sonics reinforce the substance.

T

indar
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Re: Jammie Dodger

Post by indar » Sat Nov 09, 2019 10:32 am

Tracy barely touched on the repetition of the uh, uh uh sound repeated throughout. Such a sense of emoptional struggle. Human brokensess.

Matty11
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Re: Jammie Dodger

Post by Matty11 » Sat Nov 09, 2019 11:13 pm

Thanks T. and Indar for your sensitive reading. Never sure how much vernacular communicates. The life of a poem depends so much on a reader!

best

Phil

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Colm Roe
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Re: Jammie Dodger

Post by Colm Roe » Fri Nov 22, 2019 7:21 pm

The title works well; one meaning being someone who breezes through life without making too much effort. 
'scribbled' in S1 reinforces the N's casual regard for Liz, as does the clipped/minimal text used in his note, and the fact he was too lazy to wash his mug before leaving.
I can see one of his equally dodgy mates giving him (getting rid of) a pup and suggesting it will keep Liz company 
when they're in the pub. The N obviously drinks a lot at home (as well) if his bladder couldn't hold its contents before he reached The Lion. I also got the sense of desperation/addiction; it wasn't just his bladder...he needed to get a drink asap, and didn't care what it cost.
S3 continues this subtle use of language.  'hugged, tug, heart,simple love, broken' shows us the other side in this dysfunctional relationship. It's a sad but clever poem, especially the way you used the cup/mug in the opening and closing stanzas to show their different perspectives. 
There's so much going on in this excellent poem Phil.  

 

Matty11
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Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2018 7:58 pm

Re: Jammie Dodger

Post by Matty11 » Sat Nov 23, 2019 3:17 am

Cheers Colm. That is a spot on reading. Appreciated.

all the best

Phil

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