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Jammie Dodger
- Tracy Mitchell
- Posts: 3179
- Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 3:58 pm
Re: Jammie Dodger
mug/pug/tug =
Favorite line: A dearer pint, needs must.
Wonderful closing - sonics reinforce the substance.
T
Favorite line: A dearer pint, needs must.
Wonderful closing - sonics reinforce the substance.
T
Re: Jammie Dodger
Tracy barely touched on the repetition of the uh, uh uh sound repeated throughout. Such a sense of emoptional struggle. Human brokensess.
Re: Jammie Dodger
Thanks T. and Indar for your sensitive reading. Never sure how much vernacular communicates. The life of a poem depends so much on a reader!
best
Phil
best
Phil
Re: Jammie Dodger
The title works well; one meaning being someone who breezes through life without making too much effort.
'scribbled' in S1 reinforces the N's casual regard for Liz, as does the clipped/minimal text used in his note, and the fact he was too lazy to wash his mug before leaving.
I can see one of his equally dodgy mates giving him (getting rid of) a pup and suggesting it will keep Liz company
when they're in the pub. The N obviously drinks a lot at home (as well) if his bladder couldn't hold its contents before he reached The Lion. I also got the sense of desperation/addiction; it wasn't just his bladder...he needed to get a drink asap, and didn't care what it cost.
S3 continues this subtle use of language. 'hugged, tug, heart,simple love, broken' shows us the other side in this dysfunctional relationship. It's a sad but clever poem, especially the way you used the cup/mug in the opening and closing stanzas to show their different perspectives.
There's so much going on in this excellent poem Phil.
'scribbled' in S1 reinforces the N's casual regard for Liz, as does the clipped/minimal text used in his note, and the fact he was too lazy to wash his mug before leaving.
I can see one of his equally dodgy mates giving him (getting rid of) a pup and suggesting it will keep Liz company
when they're in the pub. The N obviously drinks a lot at home (as well) if his bladder couldn't hold its contents before he reached The Lion. I also got the sense of desperation/addiction; it wasn't just his bladder...he needed to get a drink asap, and didn't care what it cost.
S3 continues this subtle use of language. 'hugged, tug, heart,simple love, broken' shows us the other side in this dysfunctional relationship. It's a sad but clever poem, especially the way you used the cup/mug in the opening and closing stanzas to show their different perspectives.
There's so much going on in this excellent poem Phil.
Re: Jammie Dodger
Cheers Colm. That is a spot on reading. Appreciated.
all the best
Phil
all the best
Phil