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Dissension Rebellion

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Dylan di Vilde
Posts: 45
Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2019 6:13 am

Dissension Rebellion

Post by Dylan di Vilde » Mon Dec 09, 2019 3:24 am

They want to make us change our ways
by blocking roads on protest days –
their banners waved and placards thrust
at those who earn a daily crust.
‘We’re doomed!’ they cry
‘the end is nigh.
We want to save the world somehow
and need a futile gesture NOW!
A schoolgirl is our chosen one,
she says the world may soon be gone.
We’ve realised that she is right
and everything is black and white.’

 
They seem bizarrely unforgiving
of those who earn an honest living.
Are they middle class knobs
who do not have jobs
and disdainfully view
people who do?
- well-meaning plonkers who’ve thrown in their lot
with those who protest at whatever you’ve got?
 
But why, you may ask, are they targeting me?
I’ve stopped chucking carrier bags into the sea,
I’m already steadfastly proving my worth,
staunchly but modestly saving the Earth - 
I sort out my paper, containers and tins
and put them all into recycling bins.
Do those who are stirring up trouble
think we live in our own little bubble?
 
If they’re concerned about matters like these
they should take a bold step and confront the Chinese.
‘You were doing so well when you all rode on bikes,
but now you’re the top of our list of dislikes.
How can you let your economy boom
when you know we’re all facing our imminent doom?’

The Chinese would be miffed,
give them short shrift
or simply say Thanks -
Say Hello to our tanks.
 
And why don’t they trek to the Amazon basin
to rail against logging and deforestation?
where many disastrous fires are starting
and cows are apparently lethally farting,
They won’t see a quick About Face
but at least they’d be in the right place.
 
But easier targets they like to attack
and then give themselves a nice pat on the back,
doing sod all for the planet alas
but being a self-righteous pain in the ass.
 
 
 
To read more of my poems buy this big fat book - Rescued from Oblivion at https://www.feedaread.com/profiles/10661/

Dave
Posts: 1991
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:07 am

Re: Dissension Rebellion

Post by Dave » Wed Dec 11, 2019 9:32 am

Well it is competently written. Appears sufficiently ironic about others but lacks a certain irony about its own position, unless it is so well disguised I missed it and also appears to think humour can be gained from calling someone a plonker. The poem is a bit of a whine in fact: it reminded of my parents moaning about singers on Top of the Pops. A major disappointment, given your way with words. IMHO.
Sorry. Can't warm to this one.
Dave
 

Dylan di Vilde
Posts: 45
Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2019 6:13 am

Re: Dissension Rebellion

Post by Dylan di Vilde » Mon Dec 16, 2019 5:06 am

Too bad it’s not for you Dave but I suspect your sympathies lie with the woolly hatters.
To read more of my poems buy this big fat book - Rescued from Oblivion at https://www.feedaread.com/profiles/10661/

ajduclos
Posts: 1746
Joined: Mon Apr 01, 2019 1:35 pm

Re: Dissension Rebellion

Post by ajduclos » Mon Dec 16, 2019 1:50 pm

Dylan -
 
I've come back and reread this one several times over the last few days... and it would seem that "N" has staked out a position as firm and as black & white as can possibly be.  "I've got mine" N would seem to say, "get your own... get a job, and you can have whatever is left of this planet when I done with it."

It is well crafted and written, as are all of your writes, but the subject matter with it's reflexive and defensive aggressions at those others leaves me kinda empty.

We are all entitled to our points of view - and on this yours and mine do not converge.

Be well.

Aj

  

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Colm Roe
Posts: 2697
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 12:45 am

Re: Dissension Rebellion

Post by Colm Roe » Mon Dec 16, 2019 8:14 pm

It's a valid POV.
Too easy now for anyone to protest...and disturb easy (and the wrong) targets.
Don't go for rhyming...but enjoyed it.

Dave
Posts: 1991
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:07 am

Re: Dissension Rebellion

Post by Dave » Wed Dec 18, 2019 10:21 am

Hi Dylan
Colm is right of course that the POV is valid. However, your reply confirms my initial doubts about the poem (the politics are a different matter) since it doubles down on the current way of dealing with comment. What my sartorial taste and my personal politics have to do with my comments on the poem are a matter for you to answer for yourself, but are entirely irrelevant from my point of view. I presume the woolly hat was humour but is exactly the weak humour and political commentary the poem suffers from. Or should I wonder whether you are a flat capped Yorkshireman? As it is in Hamburg where I live has not been cold enough in winter for a good many years to wear a woolly hat or even any hat.

For what it is worth Britain has been polluting extensively since industrialization (1750) and should perhaps remain humble when pointing fingers at others who sadly indeed are following their example. What I think about Greta I will keep to myself but I have met a good many adult men whose attitude to her is beyond pathetic - which is not what I am suggesting about you.

Anyway you consistently written better and funnier poems IMO.

Dave

Dave
Posts: 1991
Joined: Mon Jan 08, 2018 9:07 am

Re: Dissension Rebellion

Post by Dave » Wed Dec 18, 2019 10:23 am

Oh I see now, you did not refer to me as a wool hatter but a sympathizer thereof. Just to get the facts right.
Dave
 

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