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Hearing Things

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
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Tim J Brennan

Hearing Things

Post by Tim J Brennan » Fri Jan 17, 2020 9:24 am

The sky seems so personal sometimes,
like it’s nobody’s business where
the sun goes at night—

you stand on the back deck,
fondle the day’s change
in your pocket like a sixty-two cent
rosary, contemplate the coming January
storm, with all its ice and wind
and snow and chill—

a perfect day for not taking stock
of your life only because some voice
in the back of your brain bristles,

~ Don’t push it tonight, bub,
I’m busy being God
~

though later you tell yourself
it only seemed like the sky
was talking to you.
Last edited by Tim J Brennan on Fri Jan 17, 2020 6:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

indar
Posts: 2908
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 8:00 am

Re: Hearing Things

Post by indar » Fri Jan 17, 2020 12:35 pm

Hi Tim,
Should the first lines read:

The skies seem or the sky seems?

And would the sky, who thinks its doings are none of our business, be better characterized as "private" more than "personal"?

Love the 62cent rosary in the second stanza but not wild about the repetition of wind/wind chill.

Having said the rosary the sky answers ;)  Quirky----quirky is good!

Tim J Brennan

Re: Hearing Things

Post by Tim J Brennan » Fri Jan 17, 2020 6:30 pm

indar wrote:
Fri Jan 17, 2020 12:35 pm
Hi Tim,
Should the first lines read:

The skies seem or the sky seems?

And would the sky, who thinks its doings are none of our business, be better characterized as "private" more than "personal"?

Love the 62cent rosary in the second stanza but not wild about the repetition of wind/wind chill.

Having said the rosary the sky answers ;)  Quirky----quirky is good!

Sky seems. Thanks.

private or personal? Difference? Sky isn't very private in my backyard but is extremely personal.

Agree about wind/ wind chill. Will look.

Thanks for quirky.

Thanks for all your comments. Appreciate it.

Tim J Brennan

Re: Hearing Things

Post by Tim J Brennan » Fri Jan 17, 2020 6:33 pm

Tim J Brennan wrote:
Fri Jan 17, 2020 6:30 pm
indar wrote:
Fri Jan 17, 2020 12:35 pm
Hi Tim,
Should the first lines read:

The skies seem or the sky seems?

And would the sky, who thinks its doings are none of our business, be better characterized as "private" more than "personal"?

Love the 62cent rosary in the second stanza but not wild about the repetition of wind/wind chill.

Having said the rosary the sky answers ;)  Quirky----quirky is good!

Sky seems. Thanks.

private or personal? Difference? Sky isn't very private in my backyard but is extremely personal. Enough to tell me to shove it. Kind of. God can be that way sometimes.

Agree about wind/ wind chill. Will look.

Thanks for quirky.

Thanks for all your comments. Appreciate it.

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