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I Thought She Was A Goddess

General Poetry - post, comment, review, critique
indar
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I Thought She Was A Goddess

Post by indar » Mon May 04, 2020 9:03 am

She's here tonight,
a moth that beats her wings
against the wall above me,
beats and beats to and fro.
Incessantly, the spirit of my dead
mother vibrates the air
against the dark. She won't ascend
above the ceiling. Tries instead
to reclaim center stage,
relive with me her lifetime 
of admiration by others:
her tiny waist, her long legs. Nightly,
in useless form she returns.
Tonight she will tear her wings to shreds,
flutter to the floor, a clot
of dead leaves after winter.

Tomorrow she might be the possum
that stalks the fence
back and forth to night vision
in through my bedroom window,
desperate to ask me if this shadow
highlights her green eyes,
if this dress slims her.

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Colm Roe
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Re: I Thought She Was A Goddess

Post by Colm Roe » Mon May 04, 2020 9:38 am

Great imagery here Linda.
There's obviously no love lost between the N and the mother. It's a sad poem, especially because the vain and selfish mother, who sounds like she should be forgotten, still occupies N's thoughts.
Very nice write.

indar
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Re: I Thought She Was A Goddess

Post by indar » Mon May 04, 2020 10:49 am

Thank you Colm,

Actually the N worshipped her mother, figured out how to have a relationship with her (that blouse is a perfect color for your complexion) then became angry, then realized her mother's only sense of self worth came from how she perceived others perceiving her. The nature of that relationship persists.

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Colm Roe
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Re: I Thought She Was A Goddess

Post by Colm Roe » Mon May 04, 2020 11:21 am

Ok, but it still seems like a sad relationship to me. And it's probably just me, but I don't see the N's worship, especially when you say 'admiration by others'...like it's only other people.
Anywho, I still like the poem :)

indar
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Re: I Thought She Was A Goddess

Post by indar » Mon May 04, 2020 12:13 pm

I didn't mean to contradict you, this piece is meant to present a sad relationship. Children of parents like the mother join in the admiration and cope by idealizing the figure that appears to be the center of the world (goddess). Maybe I should look at that phrase "admiration by others" if it confuses the issue.

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Colm Roe
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Re: I Thought She Was A Goddess

Post by Colm Roe » Mon May 04, 2020 12:35 pm

Or see what other people here have to say. No doubt they'll say they knew exactly what you intended ;)

Dave
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Re: I Thought She Was A Goddess

Post by Dave » Mon May 04, 2020 2:49 pm

Actually I felt the sadness was about how lost the mother was. The daughter seems to be strong, self-reflective and saddened by her mother rather than angry. There is a strong sense of the mother dying but unable to escape either herself, no matter how many forms she takes on, or this world. The images are very strong and the overlapping of the animal world and the human worlds so powerfully rendered. In fact the intermingling of all worlds is incredibly brought to life here. There is no separation.

indar
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Re: I Thought She Was A Goddess

Post by indar » Tue May 05, 2020 6:39 am

Actually I felt the sadness was about how lost the mother was

Yes. Perceptive.

indar
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Re: I Thought She Was A Goddess

Post by indar » Tue May 05, 2020 6:41 am

 
Or see what other people here have to say. No doubt they'll say they knew exactly what you intended Image
Well then, they probably know more than I do. Sometimes these things get written to the surprise of the writer :D :D

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Colm Roe
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Re: I Thought She Was A Goddess

Post by Colm Roe » Tue May 05, 2020 6:57 am

indar wrote:
Tue May 05, 2020 6:41 am
 
Or see what other people here have to say. No doubt they'll say they knew exactly what you intended Image
Well then, they probably know more than I do. Sometimes these things get written to the surprise of the writer :D :D

Very true.

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